Ten …


good reasons for saying ‘no’ By Robert Ashton


I’ve always found it difficult to say no, so over the years have found myself involved in all kinds of new, or struggling ventures. Many were destined never to succeed, and all my involvement did was to prolong the agony, but in a good number of cases, I was able to help people over the barriers they faced and those organisations went on to thrive. This gave me a reputation as something of a trouble-shooter


and although deep down, I wanted to be a full-time writer, I never found the time to do this justice. Writing a book is very demanding, involving endless research and many re-writes as first your agent, and then a publisher’s editor offers usually helpful advice. It’s almost impossible to do this properly when you’re sharing the often emotional strain of attempting to perform a consultancy miracle for a flagging charity or small business. Right now I am editing my latest book, researching and


conducting new interviews, and so unusually, managed to say no to a well-paid, but almost impossible to deliver project for a faith based cancer charity that wants help with a capital appeal. Faith led charities are prone to over-ambition and this one was only two years old with no reserves on its balance sheet. I’ve sat on enough grant panels to know that this was not going to be easy, but the people are nice and so I wavered for a week before saying no. This episode encouraged me to think about the benefits of


saying no. You might also find it difficult to say no, so here then are 10 good reasons that might help you:


1. The task appears impossible – so agreeing to take it on only delays the realisation that this cannot be done. Better to spend time looking for alternatives, as they usually exist, or letting someone else more confident of their ability to take it on.


2. You are already pretty busy – and when those who gave you the task are relaxing because you now own the problem, you are facing sleepless nights and working at the weekend to get everything done.


3. It’s not your problem – this is almost always the case, but people and organisations with problems quickly become skilled at making you think it’s your problem too. I was pressured recently by a Quaker charity of which I’m a trustee to accept responsibility for managing a group of buildings. I very nearly said yes, but when I said no, someone better qualified than me was quickly found.


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4. Others have already refused to help – it can boost both your ego and reputation if you can succeed where others have failed. Or does the project appear possible because you’ve not yet seen the full picture? I, like perhaps you, can be quick to see the potential personal benefits, while overlooking the less obvious pitfalls. If in doubt, no is always the right answer!


5. They’ll never learn unless they have to do it themselves – Parents usually tie the laces on their child’s first pair of shoes. But they cannot always do this and one day the child has to learn to tie them without relying on mum or dad. Organisations can behave like children and become too accustomed to asking others to do what actually; they need to learn to do for themselves.


6. It’s immoral – To stretch my creativity I recently signed up with an online writing agency. They promised interesting assignments and realistic fees. But once I had access to their website, I realised they were an essay farm, patronised by students seeking an easy way to gain marks. Never agree to help others cheat the system.


7. You’ve moved on – We all evolve as time goes by, but others rarely keep up and so ask us to take on tasks that frankly, can just as well be done by someone more junior. Yes, you can do this standing on your head, but why not pass the task on to someone who will find the experience helps them develop their skills?


8. They won’t pay – when an organisation is going bust, those running it can delude themselves that all will be OK in the end. Worse, some will commission work knowing it will probably never be paid for. Insolvency is painful for all concerned, particularly suppliers. Look out for the warning signs and avoid getting drawn in.


9. They need a different kind of help – What people say they want, can actually be quite different from what they need. Perhaps they lack the experience to know the difference and perhaps they do not take kindly to this being pointed out.


10. You no longer need the hassle – times change and so do we. I recently qualified for both a free bus pass and the UK state pension. Both are stark reminders that if I don’t start saying no now, I will never find time to do what matters most to me.


Now that I have reached the age when most retire, I am facing


new opportunities to say no. It is no coincidence that most charity trustees are in the 60s and 70s. They have the time, often miss being part of an organisation and becoming a trustee makes them feel valued. Of secondary importance seems to be working out if they have relevant skills that can help the charity create and deliver a robust strategy. I recently resigned as trustee of one charity after sitting through


a six hour board meeting at which I felt able to contribute little to the debate. Other trustees are professionals working in the same field, and my expertise is in marketing and fundraising. I’m still involved, but only in the areas where my time will be well spent. There is never any point in being there simply to make up the numbers!


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