day. Unless everyone at your company is related to you, being a family is a lofty and unattainable goal—if we are honest with ourselves.
A few weeks ago, I was having a conversation with a friend about leading in his business and he said, “I am trying to work on loving honestly.” His intent was to be honest with his employees and love them at the same time. Don’t panic; I am not talking about the love you have for your spouse. I’m talking about platonic love, which means that you care for someone and they are important to you. I felt like this was a nugget of leadership worth digging into.
What does this even look like as a leader? Do we really love our employees? Some companies say we are a family. But are we? I have a family but I can’t fire my kids, can I? It’s funny that companies think they are a family. Most companies will terminate an employee without hesitation and post the job the same
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When an employee makes a major mistake, we will document and separate their employment, giving ourselves all sorts of reasons that this person will not make it. The employee keeps making these mistakes; we have tried so hard to save them; it is for their own good—excuses that make us feel like we’ve done the right thing.
Leaders are just like a battery: we discharge from the positive and negative side. Leaders have the power to build up or tear people down. In a healthy family, we apologize when we are wrong. Can you imagine a leader coming back to you after giving you a “write up” or a harsh comment and saying they were sorry? Has it ever happened? If so, I am sure it would be the feel-good story of the year on LinkedIn, with lots of likes and comments about how “that is the leader I try to be.”
If we were to Love Honestly, how would the conversation look different? How would I, as a leader, have a tough conversation about
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