Diary of a fleet manager Month 14


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Diary of a ... fleet manager I


Our anonymous insider gives the lowdown on getting a fleet in shape.


do get some very odd phone calls since becoming the ‘fleet manager’. When I worked in accounts, life was very dull, no phone calls, and hardly any calls from other members of our staff. The most exciting it got, was sending out letters with red writing at the top. The other day, one of our drivers called me, he was seemingly a bit upset, and maybe a bit confused and worried. He told me in what seemed like a trembling voice, that some of his ‘so-called mates’ as he put it, were laughing at him, after he’d given them all a lift. He said they laughed because he always turns the radio off before turning off the ignition, something apparently, he’s always done, since he was a lad. He wanted me to tell him he was doing exactly the right thing, and it wouldn’t be flattening the battery. I tried to explain to him, with a sympathetic voice, that of course he could turn off the radio when he left the car. However, in reality, it didn’t really matter whether he turned it off or not, as it would automatically turn off with the ignition! I said all this while slowly shaking my head in total and complete amazement. He of course couldn’t see this - I do wonder how he gets on with his fridge, and whether he takes the bulb out, or puts a bit of Sellotape over the switch, as he may be worried about that light staying on - you do have to worry sometimes…!


Another call I received, was from a driver who was complaining about his new car and refusing to drive it. With him going on to add, that his wife nearly had an accident in it the previous day, too! I did say, “I don’t have any


records of your wife sending in any driving licence details,” with him replying that he’d sent it in ‘years ago’ - but that’s another story, for another day. After making such a serious statement, I asked him why he thought his car was dangerous? Bearing in mind, each member of staff usually researches their new car months before ordering. Certainly, from the tone of the conversation, he seemed like the sort of person who would have laid in bed at night, pouring over pictures and checking out all the specifications. Then, after waking up, he might put on his phone, and look again at the


gentle nudge to tell you, you’re approaching the centre white line, or quite violently rip the steering wheel out of your hands. This, in my opinion, like our driver told me, can be dangerous. If you go past parked cars, go over the white line, the car could decide to force you back on to your side of the road, with the need to take evasive action.


Now I realise, if you do it properly and indicate, then this system isn’t a problem, but how many of us routinely indicate to overtake parked cars - especially when there’s nobody behind you?


“It’s just dangerous and I’m not driving it again until it’s sorted.”


manufacturer’s website to see if anything has changed overnight, then to see if there were any further road test reports, and all before breakfast. All so he could know the most about his future company car.


Apparently not, this car is dangerous – because he said “it pulls to the left for no known reason, it’s just dangerous and I’m not driving it again until it’s sorted. I quickly realise it has a Lane Departure System fitted. I admit, I too am not keen on it, as I’ve driven a few vehicles with it fitted. I know there are different types, such as: Lane Departure, Lane-Keeping Assistance, and Lane-Cantering Assistance. From my own limited experience of them, they can give a


I explained this to our seemingly knowledgeable driver, the person who I thought seemed to know everything about cars - but he hadn’t a clue. I said, “the best thing is to turn it off every time you start the car and tell your wife to do it as well – just to play it safe. Oh, and while you’re on, can I have your wife’s driving licence details, and can she fill in all the necessary forms, and she can’t drive the company car until I receive and check everything!”


The Trials & Tribulations of the Fleet Manager (with light Fleet duties) continues in the next edition of Business Car.


16 | June 2023 | www.businesscar.co.uk


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