So, How Do You Stop the Bleeding?
One word: Therapy. Or perhaps two words: Couples counseling. Whatever you call it, the sooner you and your partner begin working with a therapist, the better. The longer you wait, the more frustration, anger, and resentment will build up, and damaging relationship habits such as arguing, ridicul- ing, and giving your partner the silent treatment become even more ingrained.
Unfortunately, people tend to look at therapy as a last resort or Hail Mary. Couples counseling is an opportunity to learn skills that enable partners to have and maintain healthy and loving relationships. This is especially valuable when life throws inevitable curveballs at us and our relationships. Couples counseling is sought out by smart, sensible people who understand that there are times in life that you need to ask for professional help. If your house burned down, would you buy supplies at Home Depot and rebuild it yourself? Of course not, you would hire highly trained contractors. The same goes for learning how to communicate—we don’t come out of the womb knowing how to communicate; it is a learned behavior. But what if no one ever taught us how to communicate in a healthy way (or at all)? What if our parents did not model a loving relationship with healthy communication skills? How are we supposed to know what that even looks like? Lack of profi- cient communication skills is not a character flaw; it is simply a skill that no one ever taught you, and that is not your fault.
Trust and Communication Live in Every Great Love Story
Do you have the kind of loving relationship you always imagined? Is the connection to your partner strong, deep, and alive? Is your method of communicating efficient and productive? If your answer to any of these questions is “no,” you are in good company. “Relationship Communication 101” was not offered in high school.
Everyone is worthy of having fulfilling, satisfying, and trusting relationships. Couples who have this type of partner- ship are each other’s top priority and they are confident that despite hard times and life challenges, they can overcome anything because they have each other. Trusting relationships give us the freedom to live life authentically and to become the best versions of ourselves. If you want to improve the state of your relationship, ask for help and make it happen. You and your partner are worth it.
Deborah K. Krevalin is a Licensed Therapist, Relationship Expert, and Life Coach who helps individuals and couples manage emotional challenges and relationships difficulties. Deborah offers Couples Intensives—”fast-track” couples counseling for clients who want to jump-
start the healing process. Intensives offer rapid change and can produce the same results as months of traditional couples counseling. Deborah offers in-office and teletherapy appoint- ments. For more information, please call Deborah’s office: West Hartford Holistic Counseling Center, 17 S. Highland St., West Hartford, CT. 860.258.4171. Deborah can be seen on NBC CT LIVE. See ad on page 26.
22 Natural Nutmeg July/August 2021
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