“To me, happiness is in finding a balance between who you truly are and who you want to be, as well as who you are expected to be.”
in Japanese festivals, traditional dances, or even morning exercises done in a group. A sense of flow in unison where a new qual- ity is born when every little part does ex- actly as they are supposed to, in order to create something bigger and more beauti- ful than just the sum of all part – that felt like belonging. But I could only observe it from the distance, not be part of it. So, eventually, what do I do with this
mixture of hot-headed, deep-feeling, rebel- lious Southern-Eastern Europe mentality,
subtlety and depth of Zen philosophy and Haiku poetry (which first attracted me to study Japanese) and dynamic, individualis- tic approach of the Anglo-Saxon model of being and doing? I guess I just let it be. To me, it is in
finding a balance between who you truly are and who you want to be, as well as who you are expected to be (going back to honne and tatemae). At points in time when these aspects overlap and coincide, we are in flow and happy and everything seems to be going well. At other times, things stall or come to a grinding halt or they simply disintegrate. Observing your- self and everything is a fine art. And then ask yourself (I recommended this to a client who struggles to separate authentic desires from people pleasing, especially the internalised voices of his parents): “Who am I making happy with this choice?” See what answer you get. You may not like it or you may not get an answer. But if you don’t even ask, how will you know?
www.focus-info.org
Jelena Radonjic is a career fulfilment coach who is passionate about helping
aspiring professionals find and retain the work they love. With more than 20 years in international recruitment and substan- tial training and practice in coaching and self-development, Jelena is perfectly po- sitioned to guide you with empathy and
challenge, towards clarity, focus and suc- cess. To find out more about Jelena’s
work and how she can support you, visit
www.whatwork.co.uk
FOCUS The Magazine 25
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