Benefi ts of Self-Nourishment Many psychologists agree that self-care can help to improve concentration, promote relaxation, fortify relationships and boost productivity. Most women crave more me- time, but don’t know how to implement change. “Without a premise of self-care, we react based on stress patterns. We react with more tension, irritability, guilt and obligation. We say, ‘Yes’ when we want to say, ‘No’. However, when we take stock in our physical, emotional and spiritual well-being, we’re less reactive,” observes Hassler, who underscores self-care as an in- vestment for life. “Most women have inner critics and a negative relationship with self. Self-care is essential so we can turn down the volume of the inner critic, stop people- pleasing and make self-honoring choices.” Balancing motherhood and career or


other obligations can leave many women running on empty and resentful. “We would never tell a loved one who desperately needed some TLC to get over it and just keep going. As busy women, when we don’t take the time to care for ourselves, the consequence is our children getting a mom who is preoccupied, anxious and disconnected,” says women’s life coach Veronica Paris, in San Diego. Catering to everyone’s desires and spreading ourselves too thin can backfi re. Paris asks, “How do I want my kids to look back on me as a mother? By taking the time to self-care, we’re taking accountability for how we want to show up in our world rather than shape- shiſt ing from one situation to the next. We can teach our children how to do the same.”


Our Emotions As Wellspring For too many women, another common byproduct of self-neglect can be emotional numbing and feeling “fl atlined”. A toxic or addictive relationship to food, alcohol or shopping can be a symptom of a deep need to nourish the self and give a voice to sup- pressed feelings. “One of our greatest chal- lenges is that we’ve become disconnected from our deep seat of power, which is our capacity to feel,” says Brogan. “We’ve been enculturated to disregard our experience of feeling emotions, and because of this, it’s been reduced to a very narrow bandwidth.” Brogan believes that it is key for wom- en to reestablish a connection to nature’s


Sometimes my daily me-time was only five


minutes here or 10 minutes


there, but it saved my sanity. ~Teigan Draig


rhythms and their own feminine, fl uid en- ergy, as well as giving up the need to con- trol. “I think it’s the work of many women to understand that we’re not here to meet the needs of everyone on the planet—and with our loved ones, it disempowers them as much as we’re feeling disempowered. We’re here to meet our own needs and then off er compassion and caring in a way that comes from a more boundaried space.”


SELF-CARE STRATEGIES


SIMPLE


Schedule me-time on the calendar. Unplug from gadgets. Spend lunch breaks in the park. Rest before hitting the wall of exhaustion.


Take 10 minutes to stretch and breathe in the morning.


Meditate in the shower; choose a luxurious, natural, body wash.


Wear your favorite jewelry. Designate a beautiful tea cup or coff ee mug to use on hectic work days.


Buy yourself fl owers; take yourself out to lunch or a museum.


Sprinkle lavender, rose geranium or ylang ylang essential oil on your sheets.


Opt for a gentle workout instead of a high-intensity session when tired.


Choose a healthy breakfast. Play, be silly and be a kid again. Designate 15 to 20 minutes aſt er the workday to color, doodle or journal.


Listen to your favorite music during commuting or cleaning the house.


Abandon perfectionism. Connect to a higher power, however you defi ne it, even if it is inner peace.


Hassler affi rms that when women are


fully present, every aspect of life can be viewed through a clearer lens. “Self-care helps us tap into our super power, which is our intuition, and by doing that, we know what we need and act on that.”


T rive With Small Changes Beginning the day with self-care can be as simple as taking the time to meditate and breathe deeply for a minute or two before getting out of bed and opting for a healthier breakfast. Feeding our senses and feasting on what gives us joy can be a way of life. “Self-care does not necessarily have to involve time; it’s a way of being,” says Hassler. “T e more time we spend on self-care tells the subconscious mind that we’re worth it.” Draig suggests setting personal


boundaries, and part of this means reserv- ing time for ourselves. “When I became a new mother, I was running on fumes. Sometimes my daily me-time was only fi ve minutes here or 10 minutes there, but it saved my sanity. Learn to schedule self- care time in your calendar as you would anything else,” she says, noting, “My house was not always spotless, but it was a trade I was willing to make so I could take care of myself and be a better mother.” Being innovative can be an ally. “Ten


minutes walking the dog or taking the baby out in a stroller can become 10 minutes spent saying positive self-affi rmations,” suggests Paris. “T at 15-minute drive can be spent deep breathing instead of listening to the news on the radio.” Blooming into our best possible self is


returning to our essence. “It’s about taking off the masks, no longer living according to expectations and other people. It’s about radical self-acceptance,” says Hassler. Each decade poses an invitation to


grow and commit to self-nourishment. “T ere will be days where you feel like you can’t get the hang of it, but you’ll arrive, and when you do, no matter what age you are, it can be magical,” Draig says.


Marlaina Donato is a composer and author of several books in women’s spiri- tuality and holistic health. Connect at AutumnEmbersMusic.com.


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