MM Behaviour
Is your child often told to stop ‘taking things to heart’? Or to ‘toughen up’? Psychotherapist, Mel Collins, tells MM tells you how to identify if your child is a highly sensitive person and how to…
Help your highly sensitive child to thrive
Does your child seem to feel things more deeply or intensely than others and process everything more thoroughly? Are they prone to having hurt feelings, cry more easily and become very upset by criticism? Are they bothered by being in busy places or around too much noise and prefer quiet time? If so, then they may be what is termed a ‘highly sensitive child’. Highly sensitive children are often mislabelled as shy, fussy,
introverted, or even mildly autistic, but they are none of these things. They are born with a trait of sensory processing sensitivity, which means that they tend to notice more in their environments and pick up on subtleties more than others tend to do. They are highly intuitive, deeply reflective and have a strong ‘stop and think’ tendency. But they can also be more emotionally reactive if there is too much going on around them due to overstimulation in their nervous system. As a result, they can end up feeling overwhelmed. So how can you help your highly sensitive child to not only
cope better in this non-sensitive world, but thrive in it? Here are my top ten ‘Do and Don’t’ tips…
26 Modernmum
1) DO listen to your child and acknowledge their levels of sensitivity. DON’T ignore what they are trying to tell you or negate their feelings. Let’s use an example of going to see a carnival. Your child tells you that the music is too loud and it’s giving them a headache. These are possible indicators of overstimulation, so give your child options to deal with it. You can ask if they would prefer to stand further away from the people and the noise, or if they would prefer to go somewhere quiet for a drink and some downtime, or ask if they need to go home. Telling a highly sensitive child that they will ‘only be there another hour or so’ and to ‘have a drink of water’ will not reduce their environmental and sensory sensitivity.
2) DO discuss sensitivity in a positive way. DON’T tell them that they are being ‘overly’ sensitive or that they need to toughen up. Sometimes caregivers - especially people, who are not highly sensitive - believe they are helping them by saying these things. But these internalised messages can cause self-esteem issues, adaptation and emotional defences as they grow up.
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