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T


he young couple, carrying their three or four-month-old baby, sat in a booth in a busy restaurant during the lunch hour. They had just received their drinks and were about to order their food when the infant began to fuss. Soon its crying became a wail. After struggling to quiet the child for a couple minutes, the mother and father scooped up the baby, apologized to the server and hurried out of the restaurant. Their server, while refilling drinks for a group of middle-aged


women who had witnessed the disruption, shrugged and said, “I guess that’s what happens when you have a colicky baby.” “More likely,” an older diner replied, “that’s what happens


when you’re a first-time parent.” We have all experienced that moment of em- barrassment— both as witnesses and personally: us in the position while others


ronment, cultural change. Stress and how to deal with it are topics of real pertinence today. Go to your favorite internet search engine and enter “overcoming stress” and you will receive almost 6,000,000 responses in less than half a second. Most discussions of how to overcome stress focus on personal behavioral and at- titude changes: don’t drink caffeine, reprogram your mind, meditate and so forth. Very few such discussions involve any attempt to understand what stress really is and how to eliminate it.


What is “stress”? The website dictionary.com lists seven


some sudden, unexpected event puts of coping with an awkward situation watch. As we think about the young


parents in the restaurant, it’s obvious they were experienc- ing real stress in that instant. Thankfully, we can use the ex- ample of their circumstances to examine what is truly a life-or-death topic: how to dissolve stress. Whether it is because we have become more aware of the underlying distress of human life or because this is a particu- larly disconcerting time period, it is apparent that this is an age of stress. Few people can honestly say they are not experiencing stress of some sort. When asked why, we point to a short list of culprits: finances, relationships, social issues, politics, the envi-


definitions of stress, six having to do with emphasizing something, like chord in mu- sic or a syllable in a word. For most of us, how- ever, stress means one thing: a fre- quent (maybe falling) state of another way, for


constant; maybe rapidly rising and uncomfortable worry. To say that most of us stress is anxiety, which


Yes, Really!


dictionary.com defines as “dis- tress or uneasi- ness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfor- tune.”


Got it? Most


of us live with some degree of stress, which is anxiety, which is


fear. When we are feeling stress, we are feeling fear. If we as- sume—which is no great assumption—that we will be happier and probably healthier and lot more joyful and fun to be around if we can dissolve the stress we endure, then the first step is to figure out what it is we’re afraid of. What were the young parents in the restaurant afraid of? Were they afraid something was drastically wrong with their


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DISSOLVE


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