Winter Sports - Football
GR SSCUTTER Cray wevvah innit ...
Our anonymous, and somewhat grumpy groundsman, Mr AKA Grasscutter, rues the recent weather and ponders street speak. Chillax bro!
As I write this, Storm Georgina has just passed to the north of us, with not much more than, for us, heavy rain and a stiff breeze to mark her route.
Something has certainly riled Mother Nature this winter and we’ve had to cope with snow, frost, strong winds and, at times, torrential rain. I refrain from calling it ‘biblical’ as we avoided the floods that some unfortunates suffered recently.
It did cross my mind to ask Mrs Grasscutter why many of these storms are named after women, but I had work the next morning! Perhaps the Met Office could enlighten me, or even why they have to be named at all?
This has been our worst winter in the past decade; sure, we’ve had our share of snow and storms in previous years, but this one has kept us on our toes, without doubt.
I am grateful to the army of volunteers who have, at various times, helped to remove snow, drag off the frost covers and/or fork the ground to remove standing water; their reward being a match day ticket, a pie and a cup of tea. I am grateful to every one of you, even the little buggers who chose to line up a trail of my Christmas Maltesers across my desk and cabinet, with a note at the end that said ‘full up yet?” Oh, how I laughed!
In between all the various ‘weather events’, as the forecasters like to call them, the temperatures have fluctuated by 10O
or
more. We had one day that was the ‘highest in January’ in twenty years. The grass doesn’t know if it’s coming or going and the pitch is currently looking rather tired, not unlike myself!
However, I have managed to keep the surface together, although there is more wear than I would like around the goalmouths and through the middle. The club made early exits from the cup competitions so that, at least, lightened the pressures on it.
That said, with the training pitches lying under snow, the stadium surface was used for the odd training session, although the manager is mindful of pitch usage and much of the training was done at a fairly local
70 I PC FEBRUARY/MARCH 2018 “
I am grateful to every one of you, even the little buggers who chose to line up a trail of my Christmas Maltesers across my desk and cabinet, with a note at the end that said ‘full up yet’?
indoor facility. I am grateful to him for his diligence. I wish the same could be said for some of the visiting teams during pre‐match warm‐ups!
Talking of cup competitions, I was perplexed by the trailers for the 4th round of the FA Cup which used a form of ‘street speak’ to promote the game between Yeovil Town and Manchester United. There’s nowt wrong with accents ‐ I have a fairly strong one myself ‐ but I do wonder how many fiftysomethings were equally perplexed by this particular promotion?
I received a CV recently that had been written in a mix of street and ‘txt’ speak. Once I’d deciphered the content ‐ Bletchley
Park would have been proud of me ‐ I decided to offer him an interview. He turned out to be an intelligent lad who, whilst speaking in the local accent, had decent qualifications and could string a sentence together; something I would never have gleaned from his CV.
I suppose that, with such words as listicle, adorbs, cray, neckballs, mansplain and humblebragging making it into the Oxford English Dictionary recently, I may well be in the minority, innit!
Totes amazeballs!
Keep the faith, and keep cutting the grass. After all, that’s all we do!
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