70 San Diego Reader December 15, 2016
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news of theWeiRD
LEAD STORY — T e security fi rm Trend Micro disclosed in October its “surprise” to fi nd, in the course of a routine investigation, that fi rms in several crucial sectors (nuclear power, electric utilities, defense contractors, computer-chip makers) send critical alert messages via old-style wire- less pagers wholly unsecured against hacking. In fact, Trend Micro said the enormously popu- lar WhatsApp message-exchange app has better security than the alert systems of nuclear power plants. (Infrastructure engineers defended the outdated technology as useful where internet access was unavailable.)
Life Imitates Art — Security experts hired by the investment fi rm Muddy Waters (which is being sued for defamation by St. Jude Medical Inc. over claims that St. Jude’s cardiac implant device can be hacked) disclosed in an October court fi ling that they agree the devices are anonymously and maliciously hackable. T ey found that a popular control device (Merlin@Home) could be remotely turned off or jiggered to carry a dangerous electrical charge from up to 100 feet away. (A similar incident was part of a plot in season two of the Homeland TV series, as the means by which the ailing U.S. vice president was assassinated.)
Bright Ideas — A major streetlight in the town of Pebmarsh Close, England, went out of service when a truck hit it a year ago, and despite pleas to fi x it from townspeople — and Essex county coun-
cillor Dave Harris — no action has been taken. In October, Harris staged a “birthday party” on the site, formally inviting numerous guests, and furnishing a birthday cake — to “celebrate” the “age” of the broken streetlight. (T e shamed county highway offi ce quickly promised action.) — Prominent British radio host Dame Jenni Murray suggested in October that the U.K. scrap traditional “sex education” courses in school and instead show pornographic videos for classes to “analyze it in exactly the same way as [they analyze Jane Austen]” in order to en- courage discussion of the role of sex. Younger students might explore why a boy should not look up a girl’s skirt, but older students would view hard-core material to confront, for exam- ple, whether normal women should “shave” or make the typical screeching moans that porno “actresses” make. — At a World Cup qualifi er match in October in Quito, Ecuador, police arrived during the game to question star player Enner Valencia about an unpaid alimony complaint, and he saw them waiting on the sideline. Local media reported that Valencia then faked an on-fi eld injury near the end of the match to “necessitate” being taken away by ambulance, thus outma- neuvering the police. (He settled the complaint in time for the next match.)
Too Quickly Promoted — Nathan Lawwill, 32, from Lansing, Michi- gan, was arrested in Tunisia in October aſt er emigrating as a recent Muslim convert, speak- ing little Arabic — which did not restrain him (a one-time Christian) from now being the Is-
lamic Messiah, the “giſt to Muslims,” “Mahdi to Muslims and Messiah to the Jews.” “I am going to be the center of the world very quickly,” he wrote on Facebook. He and his brother Patrick were found by police on Oct. 25 “unwashed,” and were detained on suspicion of terrorism.
Undignifi ed Deaths — Mr. Nigel Hobbs, 71, passed away in Dawl- ish, England, in April, and an October coro- ner’s inquest heard that his body was found by a neighbor “swaddled” in bed linen and wear- ing numerous “homemade” dresses and his face covered by stockings pulled tight (but with eye holes). Underneath the coverings, his face was wrapped in polyethylene, including his mouth but not his nose, and cotton or wool was stuff ed into his ears and mouth. T e coroner assumed the cause of death was accidental asphyxiation.
Recurring Themes — In October in San Marcos, Texas, jurors ap- parently had enough of recidivist drunk driver Jose Marin, 64, who had just racked up convic- tion No. 8 and so sentenced him to spend the next 99 years in prison. — In Fresno, California, Rene Lopez, 41, con- victed of raping his daughter over a four-year pe- riod beginning when she was 16, was sentenced by a Fresno Superior Court judge to prison until the year 3519 (1503 years from now).
Least Competent Criminals — Ms. Cana Greer, 29, was arrested in Sac- ramento, California, in October when police responded to a call to help her remove hand-
by Chuck Shepherd © 2016
cuff s she had accidentally engaged while fool- ing around with a friend. Police, routinely checking her ID, discovered an outstanding felony burglary warrant. As per procedure, of- fi cers took her to a fi re station for removal of the cuff s — to make room on her wrists for their own handcuff s. — A woman unnamed (because she has not been charged with a crime) almost produced major havoc at the Shuttle Car Wash in Titus- ville, Florida, in October when, while cleaning her car, she attempted to vacuum gas out of her trunk, causing the vacuum to explode.
The Passing Parade — T e world’s fi rst constantly fl owing (and free!) “wine fountain” opened in Abruzzo, Italy, in October, to help draw tourists and pilgrims who make the trek south from the Vatican to view the cathedral where remains of the dis- ciple T omas are kept. Operators said they hope the fountain will not become a home to “drunkards.” — In September, the world’s fi rst (legal) beer pipeline opened, pumping 12,000 bottles’ worth an hour from the Halve Maan brewery in Bruges, Belgium, to its bottling plant two miles away (and thus sparing visitors to the city the sight of tanker trucks cluttering the cobble- stone streets). T e pipeline was partly funded by private citizens who were off ered “free beer for life” for their donations.
Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, San Di- ego Reader, P.O. Box 85803, San Diego, CA 92186 or to
WeirdNewsTips@Yahoo.com
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