down on her luck. The City of Ottawa is the seat of the federal government. Here people who never had a real job yell at each other and pretend it’s constructive. Farther west we encounter Toronto
and the rusty horseshoe. Toronto is the centre of the universe, the be all and end all of life on this planet. It is on the shore of Lake Ontario, one of the largest lakes in the world (even larger than Muskrat Lake in Cobden). Toronto people are very strange. Year after year they pay money to be humiliated by the Toronto Maple Leafs, a semi-pro ice hockey team that hasn’t won a game since they beat the Little Sisters of Mercy in 1938. You can spend hours touring the
ruins in Hamilton and environs, seeing where a once thriving manufacturing belt existed. On this sad note, we move on.
Manitoba, Saskatchewan and
Alberta are the three provinces that make up the Prairies. They are famous for their ski resorts and deep sea fishing. Winnipeg has its world famous “Mosquito Roundup” every spring and, of course, the annual flood of the Red River, sponsored by The League of Incompetent Planners Association. Saskatchewan has the magnificent
cathedral in Saskatoon. The building is a wonderful example of “Prairie Rococco” with a golden statue of Gordie Howe on its steeple. Alberta has its glorious Stampede,
where people from all walks of life put on cowboy hats and drink themselves into a stupor as a tribute to the wide open spaces and western life. Alberta gives way to the mountains
and then British Columbia. BC, as we call it, was populated by Latvians who crossed the land bridge from Asia to North America in 1952. BC boasts high mountains, high real estate prices and a great many high people. It is Canada’s gateway to the Pacific and its thriving port is named after Dutch explorer Artemis Van Couver (1542) who was looking for spices when he came ashore in 1584. Nunavut and The Territories have
not yet been explored.
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