LIVING WITH S PIRIT
BEWARE OF THE MONKEY WITH A TYPEWRITER
The search for happiness fuels human life. There are so many places to look: the world says it is to be found in a Volvo, wife, three kids and a picket fence; there are countless workshops, techniques and seminars selling ‘happiness’. by Julian Noel
I HAVE COME TO LEARN that happiness sits quietly inside my own being. I discovered this simple truth through the blessings of an enlightened master. In the modern world of personal ‘development’, having a guru is seen as a quaint echo from another time. What a shame. We currently live in the era where celebrities run workshops, we’re all encouraged to own our power, and our spiritual attainment is measured by our ability to manifest a pain-free life filled with investment properties, smiley relationships, and parking spots. Everyone has written a book, is a teacher, channel, or life coach. The deep relationship with a spiritual master has slipped by. ‘I can do it on my own’, is the modern mantra. However, becoming enlightened under your own steam is like giving a monkey a typewriter in the hope that one day it will write Shakespeare. If you want to get a grip, get a guru. I am quiet today; indrawn.
Sitting in nature, the gentle arching sky takes my breath away. My heart is soft; I am remembering someone who, although long gone from this world, still perfumes my life with his love. Tender memories flowing into awareness; softly, tears fall. In 1980 I met a most
extraordinary person. He was a wild man from the East, a guru. At the time I was a young acting student
18 july 2014
with a deep desire to find out who I was, consumed with understanding life and the creative process. I was fascinated by life itself, asking what it is to be a human being, really, what makes life worthwhile and what is the point of life. I was also awash with dreams of transforming the world through theatre and deep stories; I was not looking for a guru. Having had a tumultuous upbringing made me rebellious, intense and a compelling actor. Although life hurt I was proud of my pain: my inner world often a silent scream, acting and creative expression helped relieve the pressure. This inner experience fuelled my enquiry. It was a silent, often painful journey. Then a chance meeting with a spiritual teacher changed everything. I became able to connect to a wisdom beyond my mind, emotions, the past the present and the future. I saw that love flowed through my veins. In the depth of this place, a new life sprouted; visions for the future arose entwined with the divinity of all life. He opened a new viewpoint for me: I wasn’t just human, I was also a soul. I sensed a world beyond the accepted view of reality. ‘Ah, so this is what it means to be truly human’. A deep question was answered. Something deep within
stirred at the very sight of him. He was the embodiment of a grand vision I had buried deep inside of myself, lost in
the chambers of sadness. His presence fanned the embers within my soul igniting a recognition of my own divinity. He saw into the very soul of me, encouraging magnificence, while also seeing the way I felt displaced in the world. I desperately wanted to belong. He showed me home was beyond culture, family, society, money, wealth, or fame. Home was on the inside. I could belong anywhere. He normalised me. He came from a tradition
of masters endowed with the ability to activate the divine intelligence within a seeker. It was an awakening whereby I came to experience my true nature. It wasn’t just opening my eyes: rather, I discovered the thousand eyes of God within me. He spoke to the depths of my being in a language beyond words. His central message was, ‘You are divine. A world of inner perfection lies within every human being. Your journey is to remember and live your life from that standpoint’. This awakening has
given form and direction to the last 34 years of my life. Through pursuing a deeper understanding into the warp and weft of its true nature I have come to see and understand the world in a way that leaves me stunned with gratitude, and awe for what it is to be human. After initiation, my inner
journey began. I felt like Dick Whittington setting off for
London, full of hope and great expectation. He gave me a parcel of goodies for my trip, wished me well and sent me on my way. Waking up in a world asleep
at the wheel is a challenge. I became besotted with the process of self-development, fascinated by the paradox of divinity and humanity. I explored many types of processes and modalities. Researching science, medicine, optimal performance, quantum physics, mysticism, therapy, I devoured books, workshops, visited healers and energy workers. Personal growth became ‘my thing’. I spent a lot of time going down a lot of rabbit holes exploring the inner worlds, untying this knot, and that trauma. At times I got lost in getting
found. I felt like the monkey with the typewriter, vainly trying to connect to my inner Shakespeare. It has been the rigorous input from my guru that has again and again pulled me back to true north, often hearing his echoing words, ‘You are divine. Live your life from that standpoint’. While it is fun knowing the workings of my mind and personality and diving into the strange world of karma, studying my true nature is where the real juice lies. How did this impact on my
practical world? While there is a lot to be valued in the inner pursuits, he also said one must be responsible in this world. As an adjunct to acting
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