This may be the key to helping children to feel good about what they do without telling them how they have done a good job.
Mastery in Adults
Daniel Pink, in his 2009 book Drive, discusses mastery as one of the three com- ponents for motivation. In order for people to be productive, they must have, along with autonomy and purpose, a sense of mastery in what they do. While he writes about this in the realm of business motivation, he would not object to a general sense of well- ness. Many of his other books also speak to value of mastery in everyday mental and even physical health. Pink outlines three laws of mastery. First, mastery comes from a mindset of incremental growth. We have to believe that we can create new talents, or masteries, rather than struggle with ‘what we are given’. Getting better at them takes time and perseverance. Secondly, mastery is pain. It may be hard to inspire anyone to dedicate to mastery while realizing that do- ing so is often mundane or even painful. To be a writer, one has to write; to be a runner, one has to run. Mastery requires a dedica- tion to this activity so that it may grow. Pink quotes the basketball great Julius Erving writ- ing, ‘Being a professional is doing the things you love to do, on days you don’t feel like doing them.” Even Michelangelo brushed aside the praise in saying, “If people only knew how hard I work to gain my mastery, it wouldn’t seem so wonderful at all.” If this seems daunting to the adult reader, take heart there are many who feel this way as well. But all will agree the payoff for the amount of work put in is worth it at the other side of it. The sense of well-being gained from excelling at something is applauded by others, this is true, but, sport heroes or great artists aside, the time and effort put into an endeavor does wonders in terms of feelings
of competence and capability. Lastly, Pink recognizes that we can never fully master anything and should be always striving for further improvement. In this, we must strive for improvement always, not to be the best but just to be better than we were. When it comes to mastery, this is the message. We don’t need to be the best, but we can always do better.
For the Kids As parents we strive to give them
everything we can, so they have a happy childhood and a productive adulthood. The question I’m left with is how to motivate kids to put in the effort, particularly when many already have hectic school and social calendars. We know the effort is worth it if they can just stick with it long enough to start feeling some of the benefits to how they see themselves. We can let this be a part of what we give them, a persistence to push through the discomfort and awkwardness of something new. Part of how we do this is by modeling the same values in our own lives. Share with them the things you have found that give a sense of mastery. And it’s never too late to take up new hobbies.
Michael Westfall is a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW) with 10 years experience working with children, teens and families. He has a background in attachment work and enjoys adolescents’ quest for authen- ticity (as well as mastery) as it relates to their functioning with their world. He sees individuals from children to adulthood at his practice in Manchester, CT, where he can be reached at (860) 212-8923. He is accept- ing new clients and in network with most commercial and state insurances. See ad on page 34.
I CAN HELP YOU HEAL SPECIAL ATTENTION to chronic and difficult cases
including those with “PESS” (physio-emotional spiritual stress)* *See article in November 2010 issue at
naturalnutmeg.com
Dr. Francis X. Tortora
Chiropractor, Board Certified Craniopath 1 Westport Ave, Norwalk, CT. 06851 (203) 348-0678 •
www.chirodirectory.com
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