Passion Islam I February 2009 SPECIAL FEATURE I 19
know nothing about each other’s Don’t bring up past problems once
lives. It would be great if the husband they have been solved. Be Mindful of Your discussion
and wife could work together for the Topics
same cause or on the same project. Live Simply Never discuss with others things
They could perhaps establish a Don’t be jealous of those who seem about your marriage that your spouse
husband/wife prison ministry, take to be living a more luxurious life than wouldn’t like you to discuss, unless
care of orphans in their home, or lead your family. The ‘rizq” is from Allah there is an Islamic reason to do so.
an Islamic weekend class. (SWT). In order to develop the quality Some husbands and wives, believe it
of contentment, look at those people or not, complain to others about their
Show Appreciation who have less than you, not those mate’s physical appearance. This is a
Show appreciation for what your who have more. Thank Allah (SWT) recipe for disaster.
spouse does for the family. Never for the many blessings in your life. Information about your intimate
make your husband feel that he is relations should be kept between you
not doing good enough for the family Give Your Spouse Time Alone and your spouse.
or that you are not satisfied with his If your mate doesn’t want to be with Many of us treat our spouses
work or his efforts, unless, of course, you all the time, it doesn’t mean he or in ways that we would never treat
he is truly lazy and not even trying to she doesn’t love you. People need to others.
provide for the family. be alone for various reasons. With others, we try to be polite,
The Prophet (SAWS) was reported Sometimes they want to read, to kind, and patient. With our spouses,
to have said: ‘On the Day of Judgment, think about their problems, or just to we often do not show these
God will not look upon the woman who relax. Don’t make them feel that they courtesies. Of course, we are usually
has been ungrateful to her husband.” are committing a sin. with our spouses at our worst times
(where is this hadith found) Show --- when we are tired and frustrated
your wife that you appreciate her. If Admit Your Mistakes after a hard day. After a bad day at the
she takes care of the house and the When you make a mistake, admit it. office, husbands usually come home
children, don’t take it for granted. It When your mate makes a mistake, angry and on edge. The wife has
is hard work, and no one likes to feel excuse him or her easily. If possible, probably also had a hard day with the
unappreciated. never go to sleep angry with each children and the housework. Wives
other. and husbands should discuss this
Work Together in the House potential time bomb so that if they are
The Prophet (SAWS) is known to Physical Relationship is Important short-tempered with each other during
have helped his wives in the house. Be available to your mate sexually, these times, they will understand the
And if the Prophet (SAWS) was not and don’t let your sexual relationship reasons rather than automatically
above doing housework, modern be characterized by selfishness. The thinking that their spouse no longer
Muslim husbands shouldn’t feel that Prophet (SAWS) was reported to loves them.
they are. have said: ‘It is not appropriate that Good marriages require patience,
you fall upon your wives like a beast kindness, humility, sacrifice, empathy,
Communication is Important but you must send a message of love love, understanding, forgiveness, and
Communication, Communication, beforehand.” hard work. Following these principles
Communication! This is the big word should help any marriage to improve.
in counseling. And it should be. Have Meals Together The essence of them all can be
Husbands and wives need to talk to Try to eat together as a family when summed up in one sentence: Always
each other. It is better to deal with possible. Show the cook and the treat your spouse the way you would
problems early and honestly than to dishwasher, whether it is the husband like to be treated. If you follow this
let them pile up until an explosion or the wife, appreciation for his or rule, your marriage will have a much
occurs. her efforts. The Prophet (SAWS) did greater chance for success. If you
not complain about food that was put discard this rule, failure is just around
Forget Past Problems before him. the corner.
An Invitation
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