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18 I SPECIAL FEATURE Passion Islam I February 2009
The Perfect
Husband and Wife
Although many Muslims may right
now be in failing marriages and on
a fast track to divorce and its terrible
consequences, there are many ways
to put their marriage back on the right
track if the husband and wife are
sincere in their desire to reconcile.
The following principles can be
used by Muslims whose marriages
are already in trouble or by Muslims
who would like to avoid trouble in their
Examples of Negative Relationship
of Husband & Wife
Many Muslim husbands and wives
treat each other like adversaries rather
than partners. The husband feels that
he is the boss, and whatever he says
goes. The wife feels that she must
squeeze everything she can out of
her husband. Some wives never show
love and mercy between your (hearts) part in making them.
their husband that they are satisfied
. . . “ (Holy Quran 30:21, Yusuf Ali
with anything he does or buys for
Translation). Never be Emotionally
them in order to trick him into doing
Never be emotionally, mentally, or
and buying more. They make him
Do not be a Tyrant physically abusive to your spouse. The
feel like a failure if he does not give
Regardless of whether or not Islam Prophet (SAWS) never mistreated his
them the lifestyle that their friends and
has made the husband the head wives. He is reported to have said:
families enjoy. Some husbands speak
of the household, Muslims are not ‘How could they beat their women in
very harshly to their wives, humiliate
supposed to be dictators and tyrants. daytime as slaves and then sleep with
them, and even physically abuse
We are taught to treat our wives well. them in the night?”
them. Their wives have no voice or
The Prophet Muhammad (SAWS)
opinion in the family.
was reported to have said: ‘The most Be Careful of Your Words
perfect Muslim in the matter of faith Be very careful what you say when
Marriage In The Eyes of Allah
is one who has excellent behavior; you are upset. Sometimes you will
It is very sad that this relationship
and the best among you are those say things that you would never say
which Allah (SWT) has established
who behave best towards their wives” when you were not angry. If you are
for the good has been made a source
(From Mishkat al-Masabih, No. angry, wait until you calm down before
of contention, deception, trickery,
0278(R) Transmitted by Tirmidhi). continuing the conversation.
tyranny, humiliation, and abuse. This
is not the way marriage is supposed
Be Partners in the Decision Making Show Affection
to be.
Process Show affection for your mate. Be kind,
Allah (SWT) described marriage
Follow the principle of ‘Shura,” and gentle, and loving.
very differently in the Holy Quran: ‘...
make decisions as a family. There will
He created for you mates from among
be much more harmony in the family Be Your Spouse’s Friend
yourselves, that ye may dwell in
when decisions are not imposed and Show interest in your mate’s life. Too
tranquillity with them, and He has put
everyone feels that they had some often, we live in the same house but
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