TIPS FROM LOIS 1. Always have an extra key to your parents’ or loved ones’ homes.
2. If they talk about going home to their childhood place, put them in the car (if possible) and go for a ride.
3. When old items need to be replaced (such as recliners, shoes or cloth- ing), make changes as they sleep.
4. When purging clutter, do so while they sleep. Ask permission if they are awake.
5. If they automatically say no to your offer of food or beverage, assume they really mean yes; then go forward.
6. Crush their medications (when allowed) and mix with tapioca pud- ding for easier swallowing. The bubbles in the tapioca help mask the tiny chunks of medicine.
7. Practice the art of touch therapy. Give lots of hugs, pats and squeezes. They probably won’t want to let go.
8. Honor the person you knew them once to be—in clothing selections (style and color), in food choices, and in their preferences for music and TV (or in their orientation toward silence and solitude).
9. Put pictures of their loved ones in plastic baggies, seal; then write their names and relationships with permanent markers.
Stiles (right) instructed Carter (left) as a child, “Pretty is as pretty does, so try to live that way.” Carter says putting her mother in a nursing home was the hardest thing she ever had to face, burdening her with an ugly feeling of guilt. Now, bringing her mother back home has not been without its challenges, but Carter says the experience continues to be a beautiful journey.
10. Keep a basket of soft toys and cloth books within their reach to keep their busy hands occupied.
11. When overwhelmed by circumstances, call a compassionate friend who will allow you to vent. Talk therapy brings healing.
12. Above all, pray! OL - Excerpted from “Boundless Grace”
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