By Diana Dworin Contemplative kids


Quiet & stillness dance on the fringe of holy


S


o much of what we teach our children has to do with words. As they learn to talk, we tell them the names of people and objects around them. As they grow, we teach them their first phrases of prayer. But the experi- ence of prayer doesn’t hinge on words alone. Helping children tap


into their natural ability to connect with God through stillness and quiet, experts say, might be as important to their faith for- mation as learning such Christian basics as the Lord’s Prayer or the creeds.


“When you introduce kids to classic contemplative prac- tices—even just the practice of silence itself—you’re sort of dancing on the fringes of the holy,” said Nathan Frambach, professor of youth, culture and mission at Wartburg Theologi- cal Seminary, Dubuque, Iowa. “You have a palpable sense of being ushered into something beyond yourself. There’s an aura of mystery to it, and that’s enticing to kids.”


Contemplative practices can blossom within families when


parents: • Look to their children for examples of “attention-giving.” In the simplest sense, prayer is an experience of turning our attention to God, and children provide powerful examples of what “attention-giving” looks like. Whether they’re telling a story with their toys or playing outside, children often seem to lose themselves in their activities. This type of “self-less” focus is a foundational aspect of prayer encounters. • Set the stage for silence. Arrange a prayer nook with pillows or beanbag chairs, ring a Tibetan prayer bowl, light a candle or set out objects to look at or hold: a rock, shell or cross, even a stuffed animal. For older children, introduce the contemplative technique of using a simple word or prayer phrase—“God,” “peace” or “Jesus loves me”—to help them focus their mind. • Proceed gently. Don’t set rigid expectations of your shared prayer time or force your children to join you in this practice, Frambach said. Emphasize the experience simply as an invita- tion to listen to God and to be listened to by God. Even just a few minutes (or less) of shared stillness, especially with very young children, is a start. 


Pass the faith


Now


what? Invited to a synagogue


Q: My son has been invited to services at his friend’s synagogue. Should I let him go? A: Absolutely—and ask if you can along too. Learning about different faith tradi- tions helps us grow in our understanding and love for our neighbors. What’s more, it also helps us focus on the elements of our faith that we share in common with others. For example, Christians share with Jews and Muslims the story of Abra- ham, a patriarch of all three religions. Build upon the hospitality expressed by your child’s friend. Extend an invitation to his or her family to attend worship with you at your congregation, and look for ways to continue interfaith dialogue between your two homes and communities of faith. Share your opinion or story at www.the


lutheran.org. Send questions to diana@passthe faith.org.


Lutheran mom


Dworin, 40, is a mother of three and a former parenting magazine editor.


February 2011 41


DESIGNPICS


DESIGNPICS


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