encore Practice Makes Perfect
Tired of being laughed at, an Army offi cer stationed in Hawaii secretly studies a new skill and surprises his peers with a star performance at a dinner event.
I
n the officer corps, attending for- mal dining-out events is encouraged and expected. If you’re stationed in
Hawaii, as I was for three tours, you at- tend quite a few “Polynesian Reviews.” Being invited to and, of course, obliga- torily attending several of these shows a year, I quickly discovered the perfor- mance follows a script. First, the hula dancers come out in
grass skirts and coconut bras and dip and sway to “Lovely Hula Hands” and “Ha- waiian Wedding Song.” Then, invariably, there comes that
part of the night’s entertainment when it is time to select some unlucky audience members to participate. I don’t know if it was a cruel prank arranged beforehand by my buddies or what, but no matter how much I tried to blend in — or even hide in the bathroom — I always was chosen. Forget about protesting; being a poor sport is not in the expected spirit of behavior at a Polynesian Review. In front of as many as 250 people,
time and again I would be equipped with a neon-yellow hula skirt and taught how to rotate my hips, bounce my right hip one time and my left hip one time, and then try to do a double jiggle to a one- two beat. Next was the rapid war dance jungle beat, where I would have to shake my hips like mad to keep up. It was after my third or fourth perfor-
mance under the spotlight that I decided the next time I was chosen, I would make the most of it.
7 2 MI L I T A R Y O F F I C E R J U LY 2 0 1 0 Another Polynesian Review
came along and, as antici- pated, I was selected and took center stage. The audience was expecting some buffoon to make a fool out of himself. But, unwilling any longer to play the role of unwitting vic- tim, I focused instead on being the star of the show. Unbeknownst to anyone,
I had been practicing my hula skills at home in front of the mirror. My practice paid off, as I skillfully and rhythmically hula-danced like a professional, even calling out the lyrics to “Hawaiian War Chant.” Now that I’m retired, my wife and I
sometimes indulge our continuing ap- preciation for Hawaiian culture. We even go to an occasional Polynesian Review. And always, there’s a secret hope they will pick me once again, for I am ready to go to a huki huki huki hukilau. You wouldn’t think swiveling your
hips and thematically waving your arms to imitate undulating ripples of wind and water would be so important, but it turns out knowing a thing or two about hula dancing was an integral part of my military career.
MO
— Stephen Ross is a retired Army lieutenant colonel living in Gulfport, Fla. For submission information, see page 18.
ILLUSTRATION: ELWOOD SMITH Tell Your Story
Share your service- related adventures (or mishaps) by e-mail to
encore@moaa.org or mail to Encore Editor, 201 N. Washington St., Alexandria, VA 22314. All submissions will be con- sidered for publication.
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60 |
Page 61 |
Page 62 |
Page 63 |
Page 64 |
Page 65 |
Page 66 |
Page 67 |
Page 68 |
Page 69 |
Page 70 |
Page 71 |
Page 72 |
Page 73 |
Page 74 |
Page 75 |
Page 76 |
Page 77 |
Page 78 |
Page 79 |
Page 80 |
Page 81 |
Page 82 |
Page 83 |
Page 84