“We have an extra hundred dollars
in our checking account from last week,”
John said happily. “Pass me those boat
catalogues, will you Catherine?”
Money Matters By Catherine Dook
“Of course, my sweet,” I said. “I
think I’ll sit on the deck and sip coffee
and admire that new Canadian flag I
bought yesterday.”
“There was nothing wrong with
the old one. You wasted eight dollars,”
John grumbled.
“But John,” I said. “In some
countries you can get arrested for
owning a national flag in that condition.
So I bought one and a spare.”
“Sixteen dollars! ”John gasped.
“I’ll never trust you with a debit card
again. Only $84 left. Now what can I
get for $84?”
“Notice the little dark patch on
the head seat has disappeared? Spray
enamel paint. Six dollars.”
“Six dollars!” John said. “I shall
complain to the neighbors. You’re
running us into the poorhouse.”
“You can signal them with this air
horn spare. $13.50. And on your way
out, don’t slip on the deck. It’s clean.
New deck brush. $14. Plus tax.”
John stopped at the foot of the
“Do you let Fred spend money?” I asked.
ladder and turned, one foot on the first
“Certainly not,” she said. “I let him cut holes.
rung. “Is there any money left?” he
asked.
“Well no, darling,” I said, “But I water-tanks,” she said. “I thought I’d the companionway entrance. “Is my
was going to break it to you gently come for a visit.” She climbed down the wife here? Oh hi, honey! What’s for
after you’d seen all the cute dresses I companionway ladder and sat down. supper?”
got in the discount bin at the Salvation I pulled out my knitting. “Do you “I haven’t decided yet,” said my
Army. Only $4.99 each.” let Fred spend money?” I asked. neighbor. “How big are the holes in the
“How many cute dresses can you “Certainly not,” she said. “I let him water-tanks?”
get for $50?” John asked. cut holes. Technically, I’m in charge of “I cut three eight-inch holes in each
“Oh ever so many, darling,” I said. the money. There isn’t any,” she added, one,” said Fred proudly.
“Here’s $1.75. You can have coffee at “But that’s because I buy shoes. She “Three!” exclaimed my neighbor.
the Starfish Studio and leave a twenty- who can fit the most shoes onboard “Honey, if you make holes in water-
five cent tip for Tori. Best to keep on the wins.” tanks, the water all runs out again.”
good side of Tori. She extends credit.” “I buy thrift store dresses,” I said Fred looked offended. “I was going
“Women!” John exclaimed. happily, clicking my needles and to clean the tanks and patch the holes,”
“They’re in control. What happened to pulling at a ball of sock yarn. he explained.
the good old days when the man was “And I have the four inches of I grabbed my neighbor’s arm.
head of the household?” hanging locker space to prove it,” said “Remember,” I whispered, “Men have
“But you ARE the head of the John. “You have too many clothes.” to make holes and cook meals. It helps
household, darling. Don’t I let you make “But only two pairs of shoes,” I said them forget.”
all the important decisions, like what quickly. “What’s for supper, darling?” “Forget what?” John asked.
you’re going to cook for supper?” “John cooks?” asked my neighbor. “Never mind darling.” I said.
“That’s true,” said John. “Fred would be dead of malnutrition “Here’s another dollar seventy-five. You
“And how to fold the laundry?” in a month if I ever left him.” can take Fred out for coffee too, and talk
“You’re very good to me,” said “Of course he would. He’d have no about man stuff. My friend and I want
John. money for food – you’ve spent it all on to model shoes and dresses.” I kissed
There was a knock at the boat. footwear,” said John. him. “Have a good time, darling.”
My neighbor poked her head down There was another knock at the
the hatch. “Fred’s cutting holes in the boat, and Fred’s head appeared in 48° N
48° No r t h , oc t o b e r 2009 Pa g e 39
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