CHAMPIONSHIPS Utah to host 2018 Arena National Championships By Jenny Biadasz, Event Services Manager S


ince the last Curling News magazine went to press, a few new an- nouncements regarding national championship events have oc- curred:


2017 Mixed National Championship T e four-sheet Williston-Basin Curling Club in Williston, N.D., has


been selected to host the 2017 USA Curling Mixed National Championship March 17-25. Ten teams from across the U.S. will qualify to the event in hopes of becoming Team USA for the 2017 World Mixed Championship in Switzerland.


2018 Arena Nationals T e Utah Olympic Oval Curling Club has been selected to host the 2018


Arena National Championships. T e event will take place May 1-6, 2018, at the Utah Olympic Oval in Salt Lake City, Utah. 2018 Mixed Doubles National Championship


For the 2017-18 season, there will not be a qualifying round for the Mixed


Doubles National Championship, rather just a single event to determine Team USA for the 2018 World Mixed Doubles Championship. Rules Booklet


You can now download a PDF copy of the 2016-17 Rules Booklet at www.


usacurl.org in the championships section. Uniform requirement


At all levels of play, team members, including coaches, are encouraged to wear like uniforms, including shirts, jackets and pants. At all national


// COMICS Alternate Reality A Comic By Matt Gamboa /PX * XBOEFS BJNMFTTMZ GPSFWFS * N (MPPNZ #SPPNZ * VTFE UP IBWF EJSFDUJPO


IBVOUFE CZ UIF 4QJSJU PG $VSMJOH * BN EFTUJOFE UP SFNBJO B QBSJBI GPS NZ SFNBJOJOH UJNF JO UIJT XPSME


Top 10 Complaints Made About Superman (AKA Kal-El) By His Former Teammates


10] Absolutely refuses to deliver any stone that has not been rigorously pre-tested for potential Kryptonite content. 9] Inexplicably “subs out” and then just completely disappears every single time that he is scheduled to play against that nerdy-looking newspaper journalist guy with the glasses— you know, the one that writes for T e Daily Planet. 8] Keeps repeating that tiresome catchphrase about how his peel shots are “faster than a speeding bullet,” his sweeping stroke is “more pow- erful than a locomotive,” and that he can leap tall curling club bar stools “in a single bound.” 7] Banned from all forms of mixed competition aſt er being caught repeatedly using his X-ray vision to stare directly into the women’s locker rooms. 6] Claims that deliberately manipulating the game in order to main- tain “Hammer in the Odd Ends” is a cutting edge strategy ploy that he learned from his mirror-image alter-ego buddy Bizarro Superman. 5] Insists that he should be always be “in charge of the house” due to the fact that the stylized red-and-yellow “S” symbol on the front of his uniform is apparently supposed to stand for “Skip.” 4] Becomes almost apoplectic at the mere mention of General Zod winning a major cashspiel. 3] Has renounced any further play in the weekly “Justice League of America” on the grounds that too many shots are missed because Wonder Woman “sweeps like a girl.” 2] Keeps pestering 1989 World Champion Lorraine Lang to curl with him so that he can keep that alliterative “LL” initials thing going, you know— Lois Lane, Lex Luthor, Lana Lang, etc. 1] Cannot stop bragging about his ability to score without the ham- mer— contends that it is defi nitive proof that he really is the “Man of Steal.”


24 usacurl.org ))


championships players are required to wear like uniforms including shirts, outer garments, and pants. At national championships, all coaches are re- quired to wear the team jacket to be allowed to sit at the coaches’ bench. All players’ last names must appear on the upper back, above the waistline, of his or her outer garment (two-inch or larger block-style letters are recom- mended). When two players have the same surname, the fi rst letter of the given name shall be added to the player names on the garment. If the fi rst letter is also the same, either another initial should be added or the full or abbreviated given names shown. A player or coach with an improper uni- form shall be denied access to the fi eld of play and the coaches’ bench. T ese requirements do not apply to playdowns leading to national championships (regional playdowns, challenge rounds & Mixed Double Qualifying event). If you have any questions about any of our championship events, please reach out to me at jenny.biadasz@usacurl.org. Q


rocket exhaust A column by Richard Maskel


Page 1  |  Page 2  |  Page 3  |  Page 4  |  Page 5  |  Page 6  |  Page 7  |  Page 8  |  Page 9  |  Page 10  |  Page 11  |  Page 12  |  Page 13  |  Page 14  |  Page 15  |  Page 16  |  Page 17  |  Page 18  |  Page 19  |  Page 20  |  Page 21  |  Page 22  |  Page 23  |  Page 24  |  Page 25  |  Page 26  |  Page 27  |  Page 28  |  Page 29  |  Page 30  |  Page 31  |  Page 32  |  Page 33  |  Page 34  |  Page 35  |  Page 36  |  Page 37  |  Page 38  |  Page 39  |  Page 40