Support Quiet Respites In today’s hyper-connected world, Katz observes, “Social dynamics can get really confusing and painful and impact kids in far-reaching ways. We used to come home from school and be away from those issues until the next day; now that break doesn’t come because of social media and smartphones.”
Katz recommends encouraging journaling or other forms of self- expression to help teens unplug and refl ect. Breathing exercises can help calm nerves and allow them to think more clearly in tough social situations before they react. Katz also suggests teens set aside time each week for a feel-good activity like playing sports or music, to give them a reliable source of pleasure and accomplishment, no matter what else is going on in their lives.
Stay Alert to Signs Despite a parent’s best efforts, kids can and will make unhealthy choices, and parents need to be prepared to manage the consequences. If a child
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is suspected or found to be engaging in dangerous or addictive behaviors like self-harming or an eating disorder, it’s important to address these immediately, seeking professional help if needed, counsels Katz. Jensen remarks that it’s easier to learn unhealthy patterns when the brain is malleable, and addictive behaviors are harder to eliminate than if they are acquired as an adult. The signs of unhealthy behaviors can be subtle, so it’s important to recognize cues without making fl ash
judgments or placing blame, says Atherton, For example, a parent that notices her teen eating differently or obsessed with working out should consider initiating a conversation with him or her about body image. Talking to teens about images in the media can help them gain a more balanced and positive self-perspective. “You can tell your kids, ‘These advertising images are trying to sell you someone’s idea of a perfect look, but it’s not reality,’” says Atherton. For whatever issues teens are trying to cope with, parents need to cultivate their own sense of inner calm; to be the rock that they can cling to. “Caring adults need to give teens a periodic frontal lobe assist,” says Jensen. “It helps when we share more details and insights about how we organize our lives and make decisions. Modeling the rationality and empathy that teenagers may lack can be an effective counterbalance.”
Connect with freelance writer April Thompson, of Washington, D.C., at
AprilWrites.com.
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