gen y

by cutter slagle


TO LEARN A buddy once told me that high school is never

over. I couldn’t help but cringe the first time I heard him say that: Bad hairstyles, awkward weight gain (or loss, if you were lucky…I wasn’t) and “friendships” built on a not-so-solid foundation of drama and gossip. Charles Dickens really was spot-on when he wrote, “It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.” Well, if he’d been referring to adolescence, at any rate. It was only after I rolled my eyes, and responded

to my buddy with some sarcastic rebuttal, like, “Whatever,” that I was hit with the cold, hard truth that she was right—high school is never over. Think about it. As adults, we’re still often plagued

with the mundane components that made school so kick-you-in-the-crotch-fantastic. From jeans we’ll never wear or fit into again (but hold on to), to friends we let stick around for no other reason than convenience. Why do we continuously torture ourselves for no rhyme or reason? Who are we trying to impress? I think it’s high time for a purge. While high

school may never be over, there is one huge differ- ence between then and now...We choose to keep that vintage shit alive. But why? Life is always testing us – every time we turn around, we’re being tested

(or should be getting tested). So, why add insult to injury and keep the other grossly, unattractive aspects of school alive? We live in a world where teachers have become bosses, recess/study hall has become a long lunch, with a vodka martini and tests…Well, tests are still ever so prominent. Instead of being quizzed on 2x + y = z (Seriously...Do I look like Matt Damon’s

school, it’s just life—real life. And real life, is often splat-

tered with the good, the bad and the fucking ugly.”

character fromGood Will Hunting?), we’re asked questions like, “Have you ever accepted money for sex?” and “Do you always use a condom when you have intercourse?” That’s right, girls, boys and girly boys: The adult version of a calculus exam or chemis- try experiment, is a sex test. Or, more specifically, an HIV test. Simply put, some things we can’t change; they’re

out of our control. We must have a job and work for a living (unless you were lucky enough to be born one

“Perhaps my buddy got it wrong—this isn’t high

of theReal HouseHoes of Beverly Hills) and morally, we should be aware of our status. But, beyond those two factors, high school is still in session for one reason and one reason only…We allow it to be so. Are we masochists? Honestly, we have no one

to blame for this nightmare but ourselves. We are the creators of this candy-coated drama, only to choke on it later. My advice? Change and get rid of the “frenemie” you let stick around solely because they’re there. Lose the designer clothes you wear for everyone but yourself and stop giving a rat’s ass what other people think of you and your choices. We’re no longer trapped in a room, surrounded

by peers we can’t stand, learning lessons we’re never going to use. We make our own decisions. While our options may not always be great options, nonetheless, they’re still there. So, if you don’t like something (or someone), get up and walk away. That’s right, class is over. There is no “cool

table” to sit at, no homecoming king to chase after (besides, he’s probably fat and balding now anyway) and no summer vacation that allows us to sleep till noon. Perhaps my buddy got it wrong— this isn’t high school, it’s just life—real life. And real life, is often splattered with the good, the bad and the fucking ugly.


RAGE monthly | MAY 2017

RAGE monthly | MAY 2017

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