generation y by cutter slagle
GETTING OPEN WITH OPEN RELATIONSHIPS FOOD FOR THOUGHT
There’s a dark cloud hovering over the gay community…And I’m not just talking about the mixed reviews Sarah Jessica Parker’s return to television has received. Now, I may not know a lot about relationships—
or physics, balancing a checkbook, lasting more than three hours on a diet, football (we may be here a while)—but that doesn’t mean I don’t have an opinion on them. Specifically, for this edition, I’ve some ideas rolling around in the old noggin about open relationships. Even though this happens to be the food and beverage issue, it’s also the perfect time to discuss traditional verse non-traditional values. After all, the holidays are right around the corner. Will you be spending them with your partner, or, will you be spending them with your side bae? You get the idea. What’s beautiful about the world we currently
live in, is the fact that we can do whatever the hell we want and that’s no joke. I mean sure, we can’t necessarily do a freaky-deaky behind the local watering hole without getting a few frowns, but other than that, we pretty much make our own rules. There is no right or wrong. That being said, just because generations and generations before us have been raised to get married, have kids, live behind that white picket fence and stay monogamous for the next hundred years, is it wrong if we don’t and instead choose to take a different path? Interestingly enough, if you
40 RAGE monthly | NOVEMBER 2016
happen to meet a gay man who is in a relationship, nine out of ten times he’ll tell you he’s in an open relationship. And then he’ll ask to see your penis. Just kidding…Well, maybe… Many seem to have different thoughts on this statistic. For example, some feel that an open rela- tionship is just another way for a man to express his fear of commitment or the fear that he’ll be missing out. On the other hand, some believe that gay men can easily separate love from sex and that sex is just a physical act that can be effortlessly obtained. “No muss, no fuss,” if you will. Then there are those who think men have large (or perhaps small?) egos and want the best of both worlds, i.e. they’re fucking
pigs...Literally. Let’s clarify something about opinions. Most people’s opinions are much like the Kardashians: Unwelcome, uneducated and splattered all over social media for no apparent reason other than, “Because they can be.” I don’t like the Kardashians, personally (in case you were going to ask) and I also don’t like open relationships. I think they’re messy, complicated, unnecessary and only lead to trouble, with a capitol “T.” Much like the Kardashians, but with a capitol “K.” And wow, just like that we’ve come full circle! Just think about it, when it comes to open relationships, what’s on or off limits? Can you take the “other” out to dinner? Meet for a Wednesday evening glass of wine? Are you allowed to kiss on
the lips? Travel together? Have sleepovers? Speak if you happen to run into each other at In-N-Out? I pondered these questions for a moment, popped
a perco/melatonin and then went back to my original thought—it’s 2016 and we have the privilege of making our own rules—there is no right or wrong. Just because I (and others) don’t believe in open relationships, it doesn’t mean that they’re not ap- propriate for some couples. In fact, it’s quite possible that some relationships only last because they’re open. And, that’s perfectly okay. It’s great actually, because it means that there are people out there who aren’t afraid to defy limitations and go against the norm in order to secure their own happiness. Whether your opinion is that open relationships
are an excuse to have your cake and eat it too, or that it’s no coincidence monogamy sounds a lot like monotony, you have to at least agree that everyone’s choice deserves to be respected. Just like the good book says…Or something like that.
What’s beautiful about
the world we currently live in, is the fact that we can do whatever the hell we want and that’s no joke.”
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