ISSUE S
I’m an introvert and I need my space. I need a lot of quiet time to think, process, and recover the energy that I spend socially.
Without that I become first irritable and then depressed pretty quickly. I hate to imagine what I’d be like with 24/7 loud demanding small dependants. I’ve never experienced a ‘maternal urge’
Awesome aunt – not moody mum
by Anne Hunter, relationships coach and educator
IF WE LIVED IN a tribal society where I could go walkabout for three weeks and be sure that my children would be as loved without me as with me, I might have considered having children. In the standard nuclear two-parent set-up, no way.
in my life, and I knew I didn’t want kids. That doesn’t mean I have no contact with them. Instead I’ve chosen to be a fabulous aunt, a role I adore. I got to spoil them, to hang out with
them and their friends, to encourage their imaginations and fantasies, to listen sympathetically to them gripe about their parents. I was the first one they spoke to about
sex. We got to have all the conversations about the weird taboos in society and how to navigate them.
It has been extremely irritating how, as
a result of choosing not to have children, I have been treated either with pity – “Oh don’t worry, there’s still time!” – or disrespect. It astonishes me how many people didn’t consider me an adult even into my forties because I had never had children. I remember my mother saying, “Some women are just too selfish to have children!” Why are all women expected to want just one vocation – motherhood?
It has been interesting watching my girlfriends have kids.
I think every one of them has gone through a long period of losing themselves completely to the job, to the detriment of themselves and everyone around them, including their children. I am extremely happy with the choice to be childless, and the diverse projects I could pour my energy into as a result – including being an awesome aunt.
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