“Do you need to imagine having a shit
in order to have one? You don’t, do you? When you are full of shit, you just go and get rid of it. You know how uncomfortable it is to be constipated. “Letting go of your anger is just as
essential as getting rid of your shit, having a purge, a clean out. It is a matter of decision, a matter of necessity in order to live in good health and peace. It is you yourself who makes it so difficult; it is your own imagination that makes it hard. You are the one who is hanging on to the shit and now you are blaming the shit for sticking to you. You need to wake up, James, stop blaming, and start taking responsibility.” “I don’t know…. I am still very angry.”
“Sure, I appreciate your feeling. Did you feel fantastic when you said, ‘I am still angry’?”
“Of course not! Why would you ask such a stupid question? How would I feel fantastic when I am angry?”
A tiger ready to tear him apart “So here is the choice, James. Do you want to be a person who feels good or do you want to be a person who feels bad for the rest of your life?” “What do you think, Hong, are you
kidding me? Who wants to feel fucking bad?”, he shouted at me.
I immediately shouted back, “How can you expect to feel fucking good when you choose to hang on to your sufferings that make you feel so fucking bad? How is it possible for you to be happy at all when you are not prepared to make the choice to be happy? “On one hand, you don’t want to
feel bad; on the other hand, you make choices that make you feel so bad. What are you trying to achieve here? Sounds like you are a master of contradiction. What do you really want, James? Make up your bloody mind. Don’t waste your intelligence and don’t waste my time. I have better things to do than playing games with your mind…”. I must have looked like a tiger ready to tear him apart. “All right, all right, all right… You
don’t have to shout. Jesus, I surrender, I surrender. You seem to know what you are talking about. It makes bloody sense anyway. I will do whatever you say. Forgive, let go….whatever the fuck you want me to do. Just teach me how… I will do whatever you say.” He surrendered to the power of my tough love. I prescribed a Chinese herbal compound
to James to modulate the stress hormone and detox his liver, balance his mood and reduce systemic inflammation. I worked with James for two months on letting go of unwanted emotions and creating the future he wanted.
A few weeks after I saw him, his brother’s wife Jade (James’ ex fiancée) gave birth to a baby boy, Flynn. I encouraged James to go to Flynn’s christening ceremony. He was reluctant to go, but after I told him that this would be a shortcut to making peace with his past and starting a new life, he agreed to go. He saw his brother and his ex-fiancée, now his sister-in-law, for the first time in two years. Everyone was nervous about his being there. He did not stay for long; just a few minutes. He did not say much – just gave them his blessings and left quietly. That night, he got a call from his father
who said to him, “I am so proud of you my son. I wish I had the guts to do what you did. Now I can live in peace. Thank you.” A couple of days later, he got a card
from his brother saying, ‘My dear brother, you have made my day, my year, my life. Thank you. We love you and we want you to be the godfather of our son.” James’ tinnitus left him from the
moment he let out a big cry, a big let-go, a big welcoming of a new insight, a big welcoming of a new empowering life… n
Hong is a Chinese medical doctor who specialised in psychological healing before she retired. She is author of Freedom to Love, from which
this above story has been extracted, with permission.
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