FIELD SPORTS


‘I’ve got something to tell you, Charlie said – I’m a goose virgin’


S


itting in an improbably small propel- lor plane as we were buffeted by 50mph winds on our way to Orkney, one of our


party looked a little sheepish. This shouldn’t have been that surprising, although it wasn’t the ride that was causing him discomfort but the fact that he had a revelation to share with us. Eventu- ally, in his own sweet time, it duly arrived. ‘I’ve got something to tell you,’ he said,


in mock sombre tones. ‘My name’s Charles MacLean and I’m a goose virgin.’ Well done Charlie, confession is the first step to recovery. The fact that he has never shot geese must


have been a difficult admission for a man who has shot 15 to 20 days a year since the days when his magnificent Lord Kitchineresque ‘tache was mere top-lip bumfluff, but we soon set him right. He hadn’t, we all agreed, missed that much: wildfowling all too often consists mainly of sitting in a wet and windy butt, freez- ing your knackers off in the gloaming for a pitifully small return. ‘Hmm,’ he said, ‘doesn’t exactly sound like a laugh a minute...’ As it turned out, we could not have been more


108 WWW.SCOTTISHFIELD.CO.UK


wrong. But then this wasn’t run-of-the-mill wildfowling; this was the 24-carat blingtastic variety where our billet was one of Scotland’s most luxurious castles, the lochside butts were bone dry and decked out with benches, the ditches boasted armchairs, and huge flocks of geese and ducks seemed intent on landing on the waiting barrels of our wee party’s shot- guns. This was not wildfowling as we know it, but wildfowling as practised at Balfour Castle, home to the most northerly pheasant shoot in the world and to the most civilised duck and geese shooting operation in God’s country. Just how extraordinary this lovely little


shoot would prove became clear to us over the next 24 hours. During that time, three guns shot almost fifty duck and geese, Charlie lost his goose virginity and I registered two left- and-rights of geese. Not only that, but we ate course after course of gorgeous food prepared by a chef of Michelin-star quality, quaffed storied wines from one of the finest cellars I’ve ever seen, and slept in goose-down downies surrounded by exquisite antiques and intri-


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