Winter Sports
THAT Ian Holloway has taken his Crystal Palace team to the Premier League next season will be welcomed by many football fans, if for no other reason than his post match comments will at least bring a smile to their faces, regardless of which team they support.
Here's a selection of some of his more ‘off the wall’ comments:
“I don’t see the problem with footballers taking their shirts off after scoring a goal. They enjoy it and the young ladies enjoy it too. Of course, they’d have to go and watch another game because my lads are as ugly as sin!”
“Every dog has its day, and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark!”
“It’s all very well having a great pianist playing, but it's no good if you haven't got anyone to get the piano on the stage in the first place, otherwise the pianist would be standing there with no bloody piano to play.”
“I couldn’t be more chuffed if I were a badger at the start of the mating season.”
“It was lucky that the linesman wasn’t stood in front of me as I would have poked him with a stick to make sure he was awake.”
“If we’re talking lookalikes, he’s [Avram Grant] Toad of Toad Hall, isn't he?”
“I love Blackpool. We’re very similar. We both look better in the dark.”
“If you’re a burglar, it’s no good poncing about outside somebody’s house, looking good with your swag bag ready. Just get in there, burgle them and come out. I don’t advocate that obviously, it’s just an analogy.”
What’s in the shed? Stadium
Dennis G860s x 2 Tym tractor
Charterhouse Pedestrian Verti- Drain 215-013
Hayter Harrier 56 x 4 Sisis rake Linemarker, brush etc. Training ground Jacobsen 5 units, Kubota 45hp tractor, Toro SR72 ProCore
Machinery is usually purchased through Ernest Doe Ltd and Mark adds an item or two to the CAPEX budget each year and makes his case!
78 PC JUNE/JULY 2013 L-r: Dean Waters, Mark Perrin, Ian Holloway and Sam Cannon
nutrients and biostimulants. Also, Mark is trialing a liquid product that is added into the irrigation system prior to watering. “I’m hoping it will help control worm activity. In recent years, we’ve tried all manner of ways of applying carbendazim to the pitch, but still seem to have a worm problem, so I’m hoping this product will help to improve percolation and make the use of carbendazim more efficient.” “The manufacturers also claim that it
reduces irrigation water use, fertiliser use, acts as corrosion protection for the irrigation system and also as a foliar nutrient supplements. It sounds too good to be true, so I await the results.” Once the grass has established after
renovations, Mark and his staff will cut the pitch on a daily basis throughout the summer months, maintaining a height of between 26-30mm, depending on the time of the year. “When I first came to the club, I was fetching off in excess of twenty boxes of grass cuttings (mowing every other day) but, by using Primo Maxx that’s down to around ten boxes per cut. Anymore than that and I know I’ve put too much fertiliser on!”
His staff generally start work at 8.00am but that is flexible, depending on workload, especially at the training ground when players are due to start training at 9.30am.
The build up for a match starts directly after the last game. As soon as it has finished, all the staff divot, pedestrian mow to clean up pitch and put lighting rigs out if required. Then, throughout the week, the pitch is fed, watered, aerated and mown, usually getting a double cut the day before the match. Typical match day preparations start at 7.30am, when all the staff come in to help get the pitch ready; mowing, marking out and putting out the portable goals and corner flags ready for the referee’s inspection at midday. This leaves enough time to irrigate the pitch
prior to the players coming out for warm ups an hour ahead of kick off. As for pest and diseases, Mark’s worst
problem has been urban foxes. “They are the bane of my life,” he bemoans. “We’ve tried all sorts of methods to deter them. Trapping and shooting has not been successful because, as soon as you’ve got rid of one, another comes in to take its place. As well as the urine and faeces, they have a penchant for burying food! We’ve found all manner of food stuffs in the pitch, from savaloy sausages to pies and burgers.” “Now, we put up a portable electric fence every night, which has at least stopped them from getting on to the pitch, but it takes two people half an hour to erect it and, again, to take down on a daily basis, so it is time consuming.” “The grass is often susceptible to leaf spot about five weeks after the post- season sowing. This starts to show up on the sward as grass growth accelerates. It can be tricky to diagnose as the grass appears wilted, and I know that some groundsmen will water and feed the turf, which only exacerbates the problem. So, our solution, once identified correctly, is to apply Primo Maxx first, then Chipco Green, through the spring and summer, and Daconil in the winter.” Mark and his staff are looking forward to the prospects and challenges of working in the Premiership, and he confesses that it is a dream come true. If the campaign is successful, then maybe the club’s plans for a new training ground and revamped stadium will come to fruition sooner rather than later. One thing is certain. With Ian Holloway back in the limelight, especially as he understands the value of having a committed team of groundstaff, maybe Mark’s wish list of a new Desso or Fibrelastic pitch, undersoil heating, additional lighting rigs and pop ups, oh, and new mowers and a tractor, might just be fulfilled.
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