wisewords
Balance Blesses Our Youth Wise Parenting Insights from Wendy Mogel
by Meredith Montgomery C
linical Psychologist and author Wendy Mogel, Ph.D., is
known for the practical parenting advice featured in her books, The Bless- ing of a Skinned Knee and The Blessing of a B Minus. She is a leading expert appearing in Race to Nowhere, a documen- tary film examining the achievement-obsessed culture permeating Amer- ica’s schools, and serves
on the advisory board of Challenge Success, an organization that supports schools and families in reversing and preventing the unhealthy tolls assessed by our current educational system.
Speaking from the per- spective of her “compas- sionate detachment” phi- losophy, Mogel explores the educational challenges that students face today and offers some solutions.
weaknesses of today’s public school system?
Race to Nowhere reveals the problems associated with America’s academic testing culture. What are the most critical
It is breaking my heart to see enrich- ment programs sacrificed on the altar of
standardized testing and such extreme focus on the core academic skills. We certainly want our children to have these skills, but we are losing sight of how much is learned through play, imagination, art and music.
High school students feel tremen- dous pressure to succeed. It seems that as a society, we are displacing our own anxieties about the unstable economy and the condition of the planet onto our children. As we try to arm them with a set of skills to face an uncertain future, we are also losing sight of who they are as individuals. Too often we overlook the reality that some young people are not natural scholars, athletes or gregarious leaders, but possess other equally worthy abilities.
How are such blind spots affecting our youths?
Students are paying the price for the pressure being put on them on multiple levels: Heavy backpacks are damaging their spines, sleep deprivation interferes with their learning process and expec- tation of perfection can lead to girls with eating disorders and demoralized boys with a desire to give up. I routinely speak with students that feel compelled to personally end hunger in Rwanda while they must also score high grades in several advanced placement classes, excel in multiple extracurricular activities and maintain a slender figure. Some of these same high school kids tell me they fear that scoring a B- on a quiz may cause their parents to divorce or drive their mothers into depression, partly based on some sense that adult pride and security rest on their children’s accomplishment.
What can teachers do to facilitate healthy learning environments?
While teachers can set an example of work-life balance, exuberance and involvement for young people, healthy teacher-parent relationships are vital, as well. Anxious parents can some- times act like bullies to teachers when
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photo by Brad Buckman
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