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became addicted to having her body smeared all over with Aloe Vera lo- tion, which could have led in other circumstances to intimate nights, except she was screaming every time you touched the red areas covering 98 percent of her body. Next, the water pump turns to plas-


ticene, the radiator implodes and your rubber hoses expand miraculously to eight times their size (well actually rubber only expands about double in size) releasing that dreaded mush- room cloud of steam that means for the next several hours you are going to be hiking across the desert, while tumbleweeds rattle by and eventually coyotes howl at the moon. Or, you’ll be sleeping under the RV until the missus forgives you enough to let you sleep indoors in the car seat. Facts are that over seventy percent


of all highway breakdowns are cooling system related. Most manufacturers claim cooling hoses have a lifespan of seven years, 140,000 km’s. So have them pressure tested and replaced ev- ery seven years. Everything these days regarding


vehicles seems to be getting more and more complex. Coolant systems and antifreeze included. Where once we had simple green


colored ethylene glycol antifreeze, we now have extended life, super duper extended life, forever aſter into the next generation extended life anti- freeze which can be used in embalm- ing procedures to keep that smug smile (or scowl) on your face, knowing your grandkids will never get a nickel out of your estate since you had the walls of your coffin lined in the new plastic hundred dollar bills (thanks to the Canadian Mint). We’ve used antifreeze in automo-


biles for many decades, because they have a lower the freezing point than water but more importantly a higher boiling point. Te original choice of


green as a color has a rather interest- ing beginning. It was rumored that antifreeze was invented in Ireland when a Shamus McGintee had a batch of homemade beer go green. He leſt it on his porch in the middle of a cold winter night and discovered the next morning that it hadn’t frozen due to the alcohol content. He had the great idea of putting it into his frosted over radiator and proceeded to blow himself, and his car, into a million bits after it heated up. “Funny stuff that alcohol,” was


reportedly said, at his sixteen-day- long wake. Years later a company read the ar-


of antifreeze, like Dexcool, which are based on OAT technology, (no this is not something you devour in the morn- ing with toast). Organic Acid Technol- ogy (good to five years, 250,000 km’s) has a longer lifespan than glycol (typi- cally two years, 50,000 km’s), but the two don’t mix well. Even newer are HOAT (Hybrid Or-


ganic Acid Technology) antifreezes put out by some manufacturers which also claim to give five year, 250,000 km life spans. But HOAT substances will mix with all other types of anti- freeze. However these newer antifreezes are considered environmentally hazard-


57


ticle and decided to use methyl alcohol based antifreeze, still used in wind- shield washer systems, to produce the first antifreeze. In memory of poor old Shamus they decided to color it green. Truth is, it’s colored that way to dis- tinguish it from other sources of leaks, for instance, red for transmission fluid and brown or black (we’ll talk about regular oil changes in future articles) for engine oil, although now there are several colors of antifreeze out there. So chances are, if it’s bright green it’s safe, and if it’s gold colored there’s been an inebriated Leprechaun urinat- ing in your radiator. Have your antifreeze tested for PH content. Tis will determine if it is acidic or alkaline. Using pure straight antifreeze is not recommended, unless of course you’re living in Nunavut. Nowadays there are newer types


ous, so coming soon will be the new SOAT based antifreezes, which are totally environmentally friendly (soy- bean based) substances (it’s rumoured that when they pass their ‘best by’ date they turn into a jelly tofu type substance that can be cut, browned, and seasoned with flavor enhancers to taste). But you don’t care because you’ll


be yelling “You should have had her flushed out and the hoses changed” while watching from the safety of your campfire, as buzzards clack away at some other distressed RVer, whose old hoses gave up doing the Watusi with an old sludge filled radiator. Just a little cooling system mainte-


nance will keep you sleeping soundly with the missus in your own bed.


S U N C R U I


M E D I


A. C O M


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