Jen Fitton answers reader’s problems
After several years alone, I’ve
Dear Puzzled
I think it would be a mistake to rush into anything irrevocable as you obviously have doubts. I think you will know when you love someone enough to want to spend the rest of your life with them, accept them as they are and nurture them, even if you do not feel like you did at nineteen. I suggest that you take your time, take the pressure off yourself and simply enjoy what is. Enjoy your freedom and good friendship – and leave Prince Charming for Cinderella!
Have fun Jen
In our teens and twenties love can be all consuming, but as we get older, with more experience, we develop a more pragmatic view of life. “Ticking boxes” and suggests that you are anxious - term partner. What is wrong with enjoying friendship? Is your man pushing for a lasting commitment that you are not sure about? Does he seem much keener than you are? If this is the case, then
Dear Troubled I would strongly recommend that
you do not run away to London as I’m sure it would not solve anything. Telling your family will obviously take a lot of courage, but I wonder if your being gay will be as complete a surprise to people as you think? I suspect your family may have already wondered and even be expect- ing it. If not, then you will need to be self assertive and strong, but it will be good life experience in being your own person. Thank- fully most people are now much more accepting of difference and your relief at being open about being gay will hopefully make up for any initial rumpus. Try not to take any unkind remarks person- ally as you may well suffer preju- dice and ignorance, and people will need time to adjust. Stay calm and don’t get drawn into a row. You will also need sup- port from the gay community, so make sure that you have under- standing friends to turn to before you tell your family.
All the best Jen
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