mean is they are going to make you feel happy. They are going to balance you. He or she is going to be the yin to your yang. And yes… it means they are going to complete you. But get over finding the perfect person and allow yourself to find Mr. or Ms. Perfect Fit. Want the full explanation of Mr. Perfect? Check out my first bookBringing Perfect Back (on Amazon)!
5 MOST IMPORTANT QUALI- TIES ONE SHOULD BE LOOK- ING FOR WHEN
DATING? (In no specific order):
1.Personality Characteristics—do they fit with yours, do they compliment yours?
2.Lifestyle—do you guys want to live life the same way, day to day and long term?
3.Commitment Level—are you guys looking for the same “type” of relationship?
4.Sexual Personality—Yes, sex is important and yes, the puzzle pieces need to fit together. That
doesn’t mean one has to be a top and one a bottom. But are you two willing to be what the other wants… while getting what you want?
5.Personal Values—are the things in life that are important to you important to them and also,
what needs to be important to him/her and what doesn’t. It’s a balance.
5 THINGS YOU SHOULD WATCH OUT FOR? Based on surveys of our
myPartner.com mem-
bers, here are some things to watch out for. (Again, in no particular order):
1. Are they rude to the waitstaff?
2.Are their longest relationships less than 3 months? 3. Do they always talk about past relationships? 4. Do they want to jump in the sack on the first date?
5. Are they more preoccupied with there mobile device than with me?
If the answer is tread lightly!
Are there specific pitfalls that you find people who are dating fall into? I think the biggest pitfall that most gay men and les-
bians fall into is a complete cliché: Communication. Yes, the art of compromise is oftentimes in relation- ships. Try not to be too selfish and listen more. You don’t have to be right all the time and sometimes the best thing you can do is swallow your pride and not push for what you want. You’ll be surprised how much more you get if you give (that applies to everything)!
yes to any of these questions… patrick h. perrine
Dating is intimidating for so many, can you suggest ways to take the pressure off, or to make it lighter and more enjoyable? Here are some of the tips I give private matchmaking clients when they are going on a first
introduction:
10 THINGS EVERY SINGLE SHOULD KNOW FOR THE FIRST DATE: 1. Quick and Easy… Choose a quiet, neutral place to meet. I recommend a lunch or coffee date for the first meeting. You want to be able to communicate easily and in a non-confrontational space. If you aren’t into each other, it’s easy to cut a coffee date short! 2.Look Your Best. Attention to detail is everything. Dress appropriately, depending on your venue. You
want to look your best and be the part! 3. Laughing Allows the World to Laugh with You. Everyone loves being around charming people because they seem to spread good vibes. Get yourself into the right state for making a great first impression and go for it. Feel good about yourself and others will feel good about you. 4. A Second Date is Great, but Concentrate on Conversation. Let’s face it, most people looking for the right
match want to know what kind of person you are before deciding whether or not they’d like to see you again—not just how sexy you are. Make an effort to get to know your date; you’ll make a better impres- sion that way. One of the most common mistakes people make is dominating a conversation—re- member: it’s not always about you!
5.It’s Not a Job Interview. Talking about how great you are is super... for a job
interview. Ask questions, but stay away from salary, weight and exes 6. Give GENUINE Compliments—but not too many!
There’s nothing worse than flooding a date with flowery lines about them, BUT every-
one has something special to offer—so notice that something special and offer genuine compliments. 7. Show R.E.S.P.E.C.T. by Keeping Your Hands to Yourself! Some people are known as “close talkers.” Even when engaging in casual chat they just
get too close. Many people have no objection to “touchy feely” encounters, others are put- off by it. Respect your date until you have figured out more about him. Touching can be an effective, flirty action, but should be reserved until you know more.
8.Safety. Please use common sense and never enter into any situation you are not 100 percent
comfortable about. Don’t hesitate to exit the situation should you feel your safety is not intact.
9.Don’t be Picky… it Sets a Bad Precedent. If you’re a picky eater order something you know you’ll like. Sending back food or modi-
fying something is obnoxious. 10. Most importantly—Be Yourself! Unlike online dating, there’s no point in assuming a role you think someone wants you
to play…here’s your chance to find someone who wants you for you. Be proud of who you are and go from there!
FEBRUARY 2012 | RAGE monthly 47
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