// OPINION
the dance floor. Girls squished against a guy’s front, dancing in a snake-like motion to loud, “expressive” music. Known as “grinding” or “freak dancing,” this is the hot, sweaty scene of a high school dance. We teens are quickly losing our class. Yes, this atmosphere is because we’ve gotten older. But as “New
Get back to classy T
BY LUCY PHIPPS-KAYE
lucyphippskaye@csdecatur.net
angled hair, sweaty foreheads and bare skin. Tight black dresses and legs bouncing together to form a huge mass of thumping feet and swerving bodies in the middle of
York Times” columnist Charles M. Blow said, dating has become dated. Tey’re all old movie scenes now— meeting her father, dinner, and then a movie. Perhaps you’ll put your arm around her shoulder, maybe even hold hands. Afterwards, you drive home and walk her to the door where the question lingers: will you kiss? Teen relationships are dimming. “Te Journal of Adolescent Stud-
ies” states that more than one half of sexually active teens have had sexual partners they are not dating. Tanks to hookups and partying, we’re led to expect at least one pair to leave together. Girls get open invitations to fraternity parties. Grinding gives teens a chance to get as physically close as possible in public. Te term “friends with benefits” gives couples a chance to have a relationship merely based on physical intimacy. According to the “Scientific America Journal”, the percentage of teens having sex has decreased since 1991. Maybe it’s due to the sex ed classes we take. I’d like to think it’s due to the fact that “hooking up” has been given a vague definition. It softens the facts and gives both people a chance to reflect on the event without having to go “all the way.” No one else has to know the full story, and no one else is going to judge because it has become so casual. But when did this all begin? What happened to slow dances and
dating? Teens are abandoning the process of flirting, asking someone on a date and getting to know the person before dating. Instead, nowadays you like somebody and hope maybe you’ll “get with them” sometime soon at a party. I’ll be the first to admit my obsession with happy endings. Movies
like “Te Notebook”, “Love Actually”, and “Music and Lyrics” fulfill images of requited and first love. Tey include moments and images that warm our hearts and make us believe that happy endings exist. At the same time, the divorce rate is increasing and more people live alone. We want to dream, but it’s hard when love seems so easy to lose. Te way that mainstream media represents romance is often based
on shallow values, such as looks and sexual appeal.Te way that girls are represented in the media has an incredible amount of influence on their actions, positions and beliefs. A recent documentary directed by Jessica Siebel Newsome, “Miss Representation”, explores women in media. Te film’s goal is to expose how American youth are being sold the concept that women and girls’ values lie in their youth, beauty and sexuality. By addressing the issues and speaking out, challenging negative influences in the media and screening the movie in as many places as possible, the organization is making a difference in the eyes of women and girls around the world. Right now, grinding, hookups and friends with benefits are part of the teenage years. It’s part of what makes us teenagers. Some of us will live like there’s no tomorrow while others will dream of it. It is the way some express themselves— their sexuality, their excitement, their youth. While there’s no stopping it, I’m arguing we don’t need it, and we should be able to live without it. Yes, these are the teenage years, and yes, they should be fun. But there is no reason we cannot find it in ourselves to truly want to get to know someone or even just have a meaningful connection. We’re in high school after all. Who said we can’t make relationships that will last our whole lives? Stay classy, Decatur.
Illustration by Adele Thomas DECEMBER 2011 • CARPE DIEM 50
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