FOOD FOR CLIMBERS
INGREDIENTS // WINGS
If you’ve ever put your tongue to a battery then
you are all too familiar with the taste of Red Bull, but
don’t get me wrong, it’s not all that bad. It’s kind of like
describing bad pizza, or bad sex, I mean, it’s not really
bad, it’s just not good. This comes from two people, that when they started drinking Red Bull, they
hated it. Jake List and my- self, Ryan McCaffrey taste tested the energy solution
and both admit that we now enjoy the drink, even if it does taste like battery acid.
2011 MAY JUNE |
RED BULL is kind of like Jack Daniels; you’re never really that excited to drink it, but sometimes you have to swig it down.
On your way to the crag and hun- gover from the night before? No worries. Red Bull will keep you fully conscious and unable to sleep those bad night decisions off.
You ever shot gun a beer? Yeah of course, me too. You ever shot-gun a Red Bull? Hell No! That’s just insane. Remember that stuff called Four Locos? (I’m talking about the old stuff, not the new rip-off) The main ingredient which caused so much controversy was Taurine. It’s the “upper” that allows Red Bull to give you those wings they keep talking about (especially when you mix it with Vodka,) and nine times out of ten, every bar black-out, starts mostly from drinking Red
Bull and Vodka. Well at least for me that’s been the case.
On a brighter note, Red Bull is an essential part of every man’s suc- cess. It’s good on a first date, for driving long hours to the crag, staying up late for no reason, skid- ding your bike and even baking, yes baking. Cup cakes, carrot cakes, pancakes, pretty much any kind of cake. (doesn’t work well with pie for some reason, don’t ask).
I could keep going and going, prob- ably because I ended up finishing that tester red bull. But seriously this stuff will make you do crazy things faster!
Ryan McCaffery is a lonely young man who still lives with his parents. He currently has a case of Red Bull in his car and hasn’t slept for twelve...
climber MAGAZINEism |
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