ANOTHER VISIT TO HIS SHRINK …


Consultant Addresses Deep-Seated Hostility to On-Street Parking


P


ARKING MAN- agement consultant Joe Sciulli again provided a transcript of his latest trip to


his psychiatrist. We changed the name of the doctor to protect the guilty. Editor Joe Sciulli: Hi, DoctorVan Horn. Dr.Van Horn: Joe, I’m glad to see


you’re back. I was starting to think you might not show for your appointment. So tellme: Have wemade progress with your hostility toward on-street parking?


JS:What’s with this “We,” Doc?You


think I’ve got multiple personalities or something? But since you asked, “Joe” thinks he’smade a ton of progress.


Dr.VH: “Tell me about it, stud!” Ha


– a littlemovie humor, Joe. I always was a Travolta fan. “‘Grease’ is theword,” right? But seriously:What are you doing differ- ent, Joe?


JS: I guess that’s what I get for going


to a Hollywood psychiatrist.…OK, Doc, I have less on-street hostility because I avoid parking meters and curbs altogether now. Don’t park there. Don’t use ‘em.


Dr.VH: Rather expensive, isn’t it? JS: You can say that again. Which


reminds me, Doc: Can I owe you for this session?


You can’t keep workers from stealing or letting friends park for free if the owners don’t get regular audits by experts.


Those mayors aren’t getting my money! No chance ofme getting a ticket either.Ha!


Dr.VH:Verrrrry interesting. So what


do you do? Take a bus? Carpool?Walk? Ride a bike?You know, you could use the exercise.And it’s so “green.”


JS: None of the above, Sigmund. I’m


completely an off-street parker now. I don’t care if I have to pull in for a minute, two minutes, or all day! It’s garages or parking lots forme!


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Dr.VH: Over my dead body.…But let’s get back to talking about “you.” How are you finding these garages, Joe?


JS:Usuallywith aGPS,


though I don’t think that’s what youmeant. If youmean what do I think about them, well, some are pretty filthy, then again some are clean. But they mostly all have these gates, and these things called “ticket spitters.” Per- sonally, how can I put it, that


termleaves a bad taste inmymouth! Dr.VH: Don’t you ever use the lanes


that can take your credit card or read your license plate, Joe?


JS: Right, and let the government


track my every move? I’ve heard those things are all connected to some big data- base. Homeland Security can monitor everything you do. They may even have a bug in this office, Doc!


Dr. VH: I can assure you, Joe, the JANUARY 2011 • PARKING TODAY • www.parkingtoday.com


only bug in this office is that deadmoth on the windowsill.


JS: Yeah, I noticed her at my last


appointment.What’s she, a relative? Dr.VH:Yeah, a moth-er in law! Ha –


a little psychiatric humor, Joe! But seri- ously, it does go to show that the cleaning people here aren’t any better than those in some of the garages you park in.Though I can assure you, there is no database in the sky that tracks your everymove. I hear that some of those parking computers don’t even track parking revenue all that well.


JS: So I’ve heard too, Doc. Since my


last visit, I’ve talked with a lot of those parking garage types. They all say the same thing. Those “PARCS,” so they call them – what’s that stand for? Parking Access and Revenue Control Systems? – well, they’re only as good as the support they get from their local equipment dis- tributor or their service provider.


Dr.VH: I’ve heard that to be the case,


Joe. I recall a firm doing a survey about that almost 10 years ago. I even published the results in amagazine I had at the time.


JS: So where’s the breakdown? Er, wait now, Doc, don’t take that the wrong


Continued on Page 20


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