P o s t b a g Postbag Dear Sir,
Having read the letter ‘Article has no place in a families magazine’ by Warrant Officer Steve Marshall in the Summer edition, I have to disagree entirely with him regards suitability.
I am the type of wife who would like to be able to understand and support her husband in his post operational situation. In fact, far from causing disharmony, knowing what my husband has had to put up with, actually can help me to understand and feel what my husband has to go through whilst in theatre and therefore adapt suitably. Knowledge MIGHT JUST explain any mood swings, MIGHT JUST, explain why a door slam sends him ground wards… MIGHT JUST explain why he has a different outlook on his return. Rather than me imagining the worst when I KNOW there is something wrong and him saying… ’nothing is wrong dear… I am fine, just tired?’ WRONG!!!!!!!!!!
Whatever relationship the Warrant Officer has with his wife and children is none of my business but please do not assume that we all do not want to know about the reality of theatre and we don't all wish to enjoy a situation of ‘Nanny state’ induced ignorance…
I am the wife of an outstanding corporal who is not given to elaborate ‘I was that soldier’ shows… He is a balanced, sensible, level headed and highly intelligent person with an incredible sense of humour and first class leadership skills. He knows how to ‘introduce’ the delicate subject of reality into my life. Maybe the tragic loss of his mother at the age of 13 or the sudden loss of his father have helped him… He can cope with reality just fine but is also human enough to be able to discuss in a comprehensive and non-alarmist way what his job might entail, thus helping me to help him if needed. I suggest Simon Beckett’s article (Spring edition) was exceptionally well placed in a families magazine. We didn’t think our husbands joined up and have gun drills so that they can beat everyone at the local county fair on the rifle range.
The decision to have children must have caused thought as to this situation and given the media coverage which is now extensive, I would have thought that the subject of foreign operations is relatively unavoidable as are the subjects of drugs, stabbings and the property market.
I desperately feel for Flt Lt Beckett who was subjected to a great many attacks, but his article helps me realise that he came home after an amazingly difficult time... in short there is a great deal of hope for my husband... or it might make me think...well things are not so bad for my husband so that statistically he might be quite safe!!!! Not having the pieces to a puzzle is ten times more frustrating than thinking you have the puzzle sorted and then finding out that pieces were kept hidden from you. I put it to the Warrant Officer that we might want to know what we have to deal with and in my case...ignorance is certainly not bliss, it is a frustrating lack of facts.
Yours sincerely
Mrs Nadine Evans... (Whilst her husband is away serving on his second tour in theatre)
www.raf-families-federation.org.uk
Dear Envoy We recently received the questionnaire about pay and allowances to provide information for the upcoming pay negotiations.
While the financial aspect is obviously a major factor in the decision of some families to stay or leave the Air Force, I feel that this is scratching the surface of the issues at play in the RAF.
Reading the article ‘X Factor’ in Envoy (Winter 07), it is clear that (non-serving) partners feel especially dissatisfied when the serving member is moved randomly and frequently from place to place. It is disruptive to children’s education; to the ability of the non-serving member to take up meaningful (ie well paid) employment; to the ability of the family to form social relationships to sustain them during the period that the serving member is absent; and to the ability of the family to own property and live in it. It is hard to envisage a system of allowances that can compensate for those disadvantages – a radical review of the organisation of the RAF is required.
The current structure of the RAF, with myriad bases dotted about in isolated parts of the country, was designed for fighting two world wars last century. Further, it was designed for a force of people who were serving, on the whole, for shorter periods, and certainly in a period where partners were not expected to hold (or want) responsible positions of their own. What employer would recruit an RAF partner to a senior position knowing that they may be picked up and moved at any moment? It appears to me that radical consolidation of locations is required with much longer postings – at least for families, even if the serving member has to move away from the home ‘base’ from time to time.
Additionally, there seems to be an emphasis on petty admin within the MOD & RAF so that minor details are specified and administered, with multiple forms, signatures, procedures and so on, where a one-off allowance system would be simpler and cheaper to operate, not to say more user friendly. A flat payment system for all manner of allowances may generate small gains for some, but that is minor compared to the beaurocracy involved in administering the current unwieldy allowance system – a battle often fought by the non- serving partner while the serving partner is absent.
Finally, I was interested to note the letters page of the most recent copy of Envoy and the discussion about the details of the dangers faced by serving members. I personally feel much more dissatisfied by the article ‘Diary of a Dependant’ – having worked for 20 years in a (non-forces) job which paid more than my husband’s I utterly hate having to complete any form which includes the word ‘dependant’!
Good luck with the pay and allowances negotiations! Michelle Grimsley
Editor’s note: The title ‘Diary of Dependant’ was used deliberately ‘tongue in cheek’ because we all hate it so…
Autumn 2008 35
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