F e a t u r e s MEN AND WOMEN
– Will We Ever Understand Each Other? by Squadron Leader Ron Salmon
I
f my wife bought me an electric screwdriver or a workmate, I’d be very happy. Most
blokes would. So how come my wife didn’t appreciate it when I bought her that deep fat fryer during the early years of our marriage?
If you ever had the opportunity to read the book ‘Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus’ by Dr John Gray, you might understand why – because we’re just different. Simple as that! Communication between men and women can often be strained because we misunderstand each other. We speak different languages. Unless you understand this fundamental fact and learn each other’s language, you could be in for a troubled relationship. So what can you do about it?
You could buy or borrow the ‘Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus’ book, or perhaps ‘The Five Love Languages’ by Gary Chapman, or you could try out a course designed to help men and women in long-term relationships to understand each other and to deal with the issues in a way that will strengthen the bond, rather than weaken it. The course I am about to recommend, include the following subjects:
• Building Strong Foundations • The Art of Communication • Resolving Conflict • The Power of Forgiveness • Parents and In-Laws • Good Sex • Love in Action • Involuntary Separation (special session for military couples)
• What makes a Marriage Work?
You may well be thinking that the idea of attending a course on marriage seems tantamount to acknowledging that your marriage is in difficulty.
But actually, it’s
just realising that your relationship needs maintenance. You wouldn’t buy a car, and then just run it until it breaks, would you? You have to maintain it, if you want it to last. Maintenance in marriage, like cars, is preferable to breakdowns or expensive repairs – so why do most of us not get regular maintenance for our relationships? Strange!
The Marriage Course consists of 8 evenings out for a candle-lit dinner for 2. After dinner, there is a talk and exercises to do together as a couple. Every effort is made to make sure your conversations aren’t overheard and music is played in the background. There are no group discussions.
My wife, Annette, and I really enjoyed the course, and learned a lot about each other. Although we had been married for over 30 years and had a strong relationship, our marriage is now even better. That’s why we’ve been facilitating the course ever since.
Like it or not, 45% of marriages in the UK are set to fail, if current trends continue. And, the proportion of failed partnerships that are not legally tied together by a marriage certificate is far higher. Don’t be in denial that your marriage could fail. Even if you’re one of the lucky 55%, your relationship is likely to benefit from the course – no-one’s perfect!
Every married couple (or man and woman in a long term relationship) should do the Marriage Course at least once in their life – no matter how strong their relationship. Action is in hand to get the course running on a number of RAF stations, and hopefully all stations eventually – so look out for one.
If you’d like your station to offer the course, contact your chaplain in the first instance. Alternatively, contact me at RAF Lyneham, 01249 896642 email:
hmssoc@lyneham.raf.mod.uk for more information or check out the website at
www.themarriagecourse.org to locate a course near you.
You certainly won’t regret doing the course – it’s great – but one day you might regret not doing it…… Go on, get your maintenance booked.
12
Autumn
www.raf-families-federation.org.uk
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