p18 comment feb13 10/2/09 17:44 Page 18
news comment
ttglive.com
Derek Jones Kuoni distribution director
“The British public will spend
this summer touring the UK
in a motorhome equipped
with a large bookcase”
T
here’s an advert on TV at the deeper into the report and would suggest that
moment cheerfully announcing that for those with an entrepreneurial spirit the
in an independent survey, some or opportunities are clearly there for the taking.
other buttery spread was preferred While fewer people wanted the numbers of
to the alternative spready butter. cosmetic surgeons and nail technicians, the
For those with a keen eye for detail, a number of enquiries about “body art” were up
closer look at the small print shows that the 26%.
advertised product won the contest by just a few Calls asking for psychiatrists rose 43%.
percentage points. Masseurs, saunas and acupuncturists also fared
I’ve always been sceptical about these sorts well, and the number of people seeking an
of claims, especially when the “independent” aromatherapist was up by 62%.
survey is commissioned by the business with a Libraries, it seems, are also back in fashion,
vested interest in the conclusion. with enquiries up by 50%.
So it was with some excitement that I While some of us are turning to alternative
heard about the 118 118 directory therapies and reading rooms, others clearly
enquiries report. have different ideas.
Yes, the men with the retro Calls asking for pole dancing and lap dancing
moustaches and short shorts have clubs shot up by 599% – perhaps because if you
released a summary of all the calls get those 118 boys to “put you through” the
made to them in December last number doesn’t appear on your bill. Genius!
year, and compared the data with Closer to home, and while almost every other
the same time in 2007. type of holiday accommodation saw a downturn
The result provides us with a in calls, the one that bucked the trend was
genuinely independent (and motor homes, with enquiries up by 121%.
strangely informative) view of The British public we now know will
how the great British public is spend this summer touring the UK in a
responding to the recession. motorhome equipped with a large
And for the bit we’re all in- bookcase.
terested in, it’s not good I’m She will be visiting aromatherapy
afraid, as 22% fewer people theme parks and having a small dove
rang to ask for the number needled into her lower back, while he
of a travel agent and 46% relaxes with a sauna, a massage and a
fewer wanted a tour operator. spot of lap dancing.
Cause for concern? Possibly, Get to it: your customers are waiting!
but before I’m castigated once again for being
the bearer of bad news, I’ve been digging Derek Jones Kuoni distribution director
18 13.02.2009
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