Former Marine Josh Deeds rediscovers a childhood joy with equine friends at a Project Sanctuary retreat in the Snow Mountain Range, Granby, Colo. Project Sanctuary is partially funded by Bethany Lutheran Church near Denver, which formed “Operation One Nation” to fund programs that help veterans and their families heal from the damages of military service.
for Project Sanctuary retreats at Snow Mountain Ranch, YMCA of the Rockies, where 70 to 90 (soon to be 250) military families each year find hope and healing through recreational activities and classes focusing on marriage and finances.
Daub served in Thailand alongside his brother, David, who flew a B-52 bomber into Vietnam. On one run, a substitute pilot flew David’s bomber and was killed when the jet crashed. Daub, who remembers his broth- er’s grief and trauma, was there to support him. Another brother, Bill, lost his entire crew in Vietnam and has suf- fered severe post-traumatic stress that has impacted the rest of his life.
Daub recalled how he worried before his first Project Sanctuary retreat: would he be able to relate to returning soldiers and their stories? He needn’t have worried—now he knows he is carrying out compassionate ministry from his heart, empowered by his history and deep faith.
Enter: Josh and Nina
Josh and Nina Deeds and their four young children are one of the families Daub helped at a retreat in November 2012.
Josh enlisted in the Marine Corps in 1999 at age 22. In 2003 he served five months in combat in Iraq. When he returned, two days after the birth of their first child, Nina opened the door, looked into his eyes, saw the pain and shut the door. Nina’s mother persuaded her to open the door again.
Josh then worked long days as a military policeman. He was highly valued by the military—available, disci- plined and fearless. At the same time he was traumatized, angry and depressed. “I was dangerous, unchecked. I stuffed it all in, in order to stay in the Marines,” he said. Nina found a renewed faith in God that she credits with allowing her to meet her family’s needs. “We would never have made it at all without our faith in Jesus Christ,” she said. Two more children were born before the family was deployed to Japan in 2006. A fourth child was born before they moved back to San Diego in 2009. For this now fam- ily of six, the future looked like more of the same—until a master sergeant intervened.
Aware of the problems due to his own experiences, he convinced Josh to turn in his badge and gun and undergo evaluation. Six years after his deployment to Iraq, Josh finally entered treatment for trauma. The family began attending worship together. At first there were signs of healing, but after three years of intensive treatment, Josh was medically retired from the Marines in 2012. Seeking a new start, the Deeds moved to Colorado Springs, Colo., in spring 2012. New friends and a caring congregation encouraged Nina to participate in a Project Sanctuary retreat. The family drove to Snow Mountain Ranch not knowing what to expect, but hopeful this could be a new beginning.
And it was—relaxed family time to play together and meet other military families. One evening a local congre- gation brought dinner. Nina and Josh had the opportunity to talk with other Christians, and met Daub when he led a healthy marriage workshop.
Horse help
What turned out to be most helpful were the horses. Nina and Josh enjoyed horseback riding as youngsters, but that was years ago. They surprised one another with their mutual renewed joy of all things equine. Their chil- dren caught their enthusiasm and everyone went horse- back riding. The family returned home, refreshed and optimistic.
Nina found a psychotherapist who specializes in work with military families and equine therapy. Nina is con- vinced it’s a “God thing.”
Josh spends time each week with his mare, Tilly, and his therapist at the Air Force Academy stables. His face lights up when he talks about Tilly—especially her personality and sensitivity to his mood, and he pulls out his cellphone to show photos of her. Tilly has bite marks received as the herd sorts out its order of dominance. Josh and Tilly help to heal one another’s wounds. Nina is looking for opportunities for the children who are eager to learn to ride. The couple is hopeful that their love of horses will be an avenue for re-connecting with one another and for Josh to be the father he longs to be. Though they realize there is much work to do, they’re grateful a new chapter began on horseback at Snow Mountain Ranch surrounded by people of faith. There are 800 families on the retreat waiting list, so the
Deeds’ chances of returning soon are slim. In the mean- time, they’re renewed by a horse named Tilly and a con- gregation that took seriously a memorial that was given life in the mountains.
Williams is an ELCA pastor in the Rocky Mountain Synod. May 2013 37
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