of all humanity. Today’s a really good day for that.” That famous verse we all treasure doesn’t say: “For God so loved the world … that he showered positive feel- ings over all humanity; he felt really sorry for the world and so he gave them some good ideas about love.” No, it says God loved the world and gave a Son. And the Son said, “Follow me.”
One of the real purposes of the church is certainly to forgive our com- mon waywardness—to absolve people like me for acting foolishly. But is that all there is? Is that the only reason for the church’s existence? To tell people they’re saved by grace?
There is another vitally impor- tant purpose for church life: church is where we learn how to love well. Church is a school (something like a seminary, really) to teach us certain habits that look a lot like love. Paul’s words weren’t first offered at a wedding. They were written to a congregation of people who were behav- ing badly.
If you read 1 Corinthians closely, you’ll discover that the congregation in Corinth isn’t very healthy—lots of internal dissension, backbiting, jealousy, name calling. A man even marries his stepmother in the Corinthian church. Paul didn’t first offer these words among bou- quets of flowers and kisses at the altar. These words were written for a divided church. I’ve been a pastor more than 25 years and I’ve really never known church members to act this way (now you know I’m largely fibbing here). My point in raising the original context of these famil- iar words is that Paul saw the church, the local congrega- tion, as a school where we learn how to love one another in certain ways. Chapter 13 outlines our ecclesiastical cur- riculum. We matriculate in specific, particular habits. It’s interesting that this wise old pastor, Paul, takes a good bit of time addressing what love is not. It’s not envi- ous, for example. Or boastful or arrogant. It’s not rude. Love does not insist on getting your own way all the time. Love is not irritable. Love does not keep score. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love looks a heck of a lot more like
a cross than a valentine. Smart congregations and Christian parents (which you may become) might look hard at Paul’s list in chapter 13 and keep these attributes in mind as we seek to shape young people in the faith. It’s not enough for me to say to you three (even now that you’re young adults),
“You must be patient, you must be kind. You must reject envy and rudeness.” No, I must model these things for you over the years. And I fail miserably at that much of the time (surely you’ve noticed), which is why we all need the church. Which is why (if we’re smart in mar- riage or parenting or friendship) we’ll get connected to a church community and be around it as much as possi- ble—so we can hand our children and grandchildren various saints of the congregation; people they can hang
around and watch and learn from. We can’t wiggle our parental noses and say, “Poof! Be patient, absolutely lacking envy and arrogance.” It doesn’t work that way, as you well know. God knows I’ve tried to inculcate good habits through lecturing. We can’t learn how to be a loving friend or loving spouse or loving person through osmosis or luck or browbeating. No, we learn these things over time from real, live disciples who learned these attributes from other real, live disciples. Discipleship is largely about modeling and mimicry. That is why Jesus said “Follow me” more than just about anything else.
The church is a seminary—a school where we learn how to love. And love in a particular way, not just any old way. We live in a sentimental world of cinema and greeting cards that often teach love as a feeling. And feelings, I suppose, are good. But I wouldn’t trust them for the long haul. I prefer the older guides. Love is patient. Love is kind. It is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on getting its own way all the time. Where in the world do we learn how to live this way? By sitting at the feet of Jesus. By watching how he lived and loved. And by answering his persistent call: Follow me.
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