Parents: Your teenager is able to go out and explore the scary big world only because they can be secure in the knowledge that you are a stable force in their lives. They might well be home late - but if you are not there when they arrive back or phone to check in, you will have to account for your actions to them! Teens need as much, if not more stability from you than when they were first learning to walk and explore the new world around them.
KATE’S GENERAL ADVICE:
Life with your children or your parents can
Keep up, slow down!
Parents: The teen years are all about rapid change and development. Be ready for it! It might well be that your teen is a different person today than yesterday. Although they loved burgers yesterday, they have always been a vegetarian today. Actually, that’s true - after all they aren’t the person they were yesterday!
Teens: Your parents’ lives run slower than yours. Be kind to them and explain very carefully what is happening now in your life - after all the big decisions you make about your life will worry your folks. They don’t understand you’re not the 10-year-old they remember - that was then and this is now!
be a pleasure or a pain. It’s just a matter of making some
adjustments to navigate through an exciting and formative change in your relationship.
The most useful skill you can gain is to smile, take yourselves lightly and enjoy the ride
Teens: Now that you have a life outside home, let your parents have some freedom too. They used to have a life before you were born and quite enjoy a night out or a chance to act on a whim. If they are not home when you get in, don’t panic and just give them a call to ask what time they will be home. You will score lots of points for this approach - and you can cash them in at a later date, like the next time you forget to say where you are going!
Look out for Part Two of Kate Benson’s article - next month!