20 The Jewish Herald • Friday, March 22, 2013 29 S E D R AH By Rabbi Shlomo Riskin


Response And Responsibility We must try to understand the


mindset of our children and the specific “melody” which enters their hearts, minds and souls


M


y favorite part of the Seder


is the “Four chil- dren,” both their questions and the answers that they are given. This


passage reminds us that each of our children is unique, that their questions must be encour- aged and taken seriously and our answers must be tailored to the personality of the questioner. We dare not meet the next genera- tion with pat answers. We must try to understand the mindset of our children and the specif- ic “melody” which enters their hearts, minds and souls. With this in mind, let us


study the paragraph relating to the wicked child. “The wicked child, what does he say? ‘What is this service to you?’” Objec- tively, this is probably the best question of the four — as Rab- bi Naftali Zvi Yehuda Berlin, famed head of the Volozhin Ye- shiva, says in his commentary on the Haggadah. Is it not le- gitimate for our children to ask us what meaning a ritual has for us and why we are so anx- ious to observe it? In the bibli- cal text (Exodus 12), there is no particular appellation given to this questioner, so why does the author of the Haggadah brand this questioner wicked? Perhaps you will respond, as does the continuation of the very para- graph we are discussing: “By saying, ‘What is this service to you’ he implies, ‘to you, but not


tand holiday discerning mind. . . houghts for the


for pizza. And so the paragraph concludes “Had he been there [in Egypt, and also walked away from the Hebrews], he would not have been redeemed.” Following Grace after Meals,


to him’ and by excluding him- self from the people of Israel, he is denying a basic principle of our faith.” The “wise child” of the Hag-


gadah, however, uses identical words: “What are the testimo- nies, statutes and laws which the L-rd our G-d has commanded you?” The so-called “wise son” is also excluding himself, but he is not criticized by the author of the Haggadah. Why not? In the Bible, each


of the questions is prefaced with the words, “when your child will ask you” — with the exception of the words ascribed to the wick- ed child. In that case, the verse reads,


“When your children shall say to you ‘what is this service to you?’ (Ex. 12:26).” In other words, the wise child asks, whereas the wicked child proclaims. How then does the author of


the Haggadah suggest that we respond to this child? “Hak’hey his sharp teeth.” The Hebrew word hak’hey means to soften the sharp tip of a sword or any iron implement with heat em- anating from fire (see Ecclesi- astes 10:10). This strange word hak’hey


implies breaking down nega- tive and sharp cynicism with warm parental love. The child feels disconnected


from the Passover family ritu- al and he is attempting to dis- tance himself from it; there- fore his parents must use their bonds of love to bring him back into his Jewish family. There is an alternative way


of understanding this difficult phrase. A number of our proph- ets speak of the Jewish com- plaint within exile, “The fa- thers ate sour, unripe grapes,


but the teeth of the children are set on edge (tik’hena, Jeremiah 31:28).” This metaphor refers to the fact that when people eat something sour, their teeth feel “edgy”; in other words, the chil- dren are suffering for the sins of their parents. Perhaps the author of the


Haggadah is saying to the par- ents: “You are responsible for the sharpness of your son’s que- ry, for his cynical approach. You have not expressed enough ex- citement and commitment to your ritual observance. There- fore, you must take responsibil- ity, and find the key that will open your child’s heart, soul and mind.” Let us now look at the con-


cluding words of this paragraph, “And you shall say to him, ‘Be- cause of this [our commitment to retell the Exodus, the im- portance of freedom and the significance of our identifying with the enslaved, the under- dogs and all “others”] G-d per- formed these miracles for me in my going out from Egypt’ — to me, and not to him. Had he been there, he would not have been redeemed.” There is a very strange trans-


fer of person in this last phrase. “And you shall say to him” means that you, the parent, are speaking to him in the sec- ond person. If that’s the case, we would


expect the final phrase to read, “for me, and not for you” rather than “for me and not for him.” Ap- parently, this child has walked out of the Seder without wait- ing to listen to the parental re- sponse. Looking at the number of pag-


es left to read before the meal, he decided to meet his friends


we open the door for Elijah, os- tensibly inviting him in to our Seder. I would suggest that we also open the door to let our- selves out so that we may join Elijah in searching for the son who has walked out on the Seder. Elijah is the herald of the Mes- siah who will bring the hearts of the children back to the par- ents and the hearts of the par- ents towards their children. We


are asking him to join with us in returning our errant child to the inclusionary warmth and love of the Passover Seder. o


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