AGENT PROVOCATEUR


Over the rainbow H


look at the colours on offer and decided that the most popular ‘fashionable’ colour at present is white. For several years silver has been the ‘must have’, but now it appears good old “cheap” white is back in fashion. Henry Ford famously said “you can have any colour as long as it is black” – and ironically at the time he could have been talking about shoes! Not now when every colour of the rainbow is available in our sample cases. There has always been ‘white van man’ of course, and I


sympathise with those who have to drive them – it must be like wearing a neon sign that says ‘affordable but not necessarily reliable’, so maybe this change in fashion could be a silver-lining for them, adding a touch of respectability to their mode of transport. Even the expensive German cars like Audi and BMW have gone white; driving them are 25 year old private sector workers looking like Star Trek rejects with hands-free blue flashing ear pieces, sunglasses (even when it’s raining) and plenty of hair gel, all putting the pedal down to the metal along the M40 corridor – and that’s just the girls! So what has brought on this sudden change? Could it be the


increase in ‘Wash ‘n Wax While You Wait’ that is popping up in every lay-by? These handy and cheap roadside valets usually manned by the United Nations, can offer you a quick wash and rub-up and make you sparkle for less than £5, encouraging us all to look spotless. Maybe the thought that the average motor is more likely to be cleaned regularly and not look like a farm vehicle, may have made the designers re-think their colour palette? Having said that, the weather in northern Europe is considerably different to that in the South, so the likelihood is that in February when the snow and ice are at their worst, it will be the white cars that will look particularly the worse for wear…new or not, though the drivers will still be sporting their Raybans. Cars to those of us on the road are not just our workhorses, but they


can make a statement about whom and what we are – but do we all feel the same? For representatives and agents they are a necessity, but we all have differing priorities. We have to be comfortable, we need enough room for our wares, to use


our laptops, eat our lunch and above all it must be economical as every penny counts. Needless to say I am now convinced I need a new car.


12 • FOOTWEAR TODAY • OCTOBER 2010


aving spent many hours in traffic jams over the last month staring at the number plate of the car in front and trying to make up an amusing name or daft sentence for the driver to pass the time, I got to thinking about the recent change to our registration plates.


The new ‘60 plate came out in September but we also have another new plate in March each year, so I wonder, does this actually affect the sale of cars, and have the numbers sold been affected substantially? Naturally our trade rings the seasons with new styles and new colours, but some years ago ‘continuity’ was a wonderful word and meant that shoes could be kept for several seasons without too much change and the public were blissfully unaware. Now with the Internet as a constant reminder of styling, continuity is almost a thing of the past.


If you don’t


sell it the season it is ordered, then you know it will have to be a mark down the following season. So whilst pondering the number of new cars on the road, I started to


A bit like my wife, the old girl has been around the block and looking the worse for wear.


I can’t afford or even desire a new wife, (there is no


way a new one would be as reliable, hardworking, or still look as good after a wash and wax), but as I spend more time with my jalopy than my wife at this time of year, my car has to go. But what to buy? You would think I would feel excited at the prospect of a shiny new companion, but after making the initial decision to invest my hard-earned cash in an eye- catching new model, the doubts and niggles start to kick in.


to a salesman or woman – nightmare, then we have to have the usual ‘argy bargee’ about the value of the trade-in whilst he sucks air over his teeth and frowns as he looks at my wheel arches, and don’t get me started on delivery lead times! The only thing that doesn’t present a problem is the colour…..yes you’re ahead of me….white! This confirms that if ever I get fed up with shoes there is definitely a place for me in a car showroom.


For several years silver has been the ‘must have’, but now it appears good old “cheap” white is back in fashion. Henry Ford famously said “you can have any colour as long as it is black” – and ironically at the time he could have been talking about shoes! Not now when every colour of the rainbow is available in our sample cases.


So deal done, a deposit lighter…now all I have to do is wait….and wait…


until Christmas! Can you believe that in such tough times there is not a car to be had for immediate delivery unless you are looking at a Skoda, or a Porsche, but absolutely nothing that will take the amount of cases and fulfil my criteria? Santa is definitely going to have to trade in his sledge this year to fit in my new baby! And, this I am told applies to 3-piece suites, patio doors, in fact many household goods unless it is a 60” flat screen TV, instant delivery is practically non-existent – so what is stored in all those massive warehouses we pass on the motor-way every day? All I can say is that any retailer who grumbles about a week’s late delivery needs shooting, they should try owning a garage or furniture showroom, and then they would know how to keep their customers waiting.


I bet they are extremely patient when they have to wait for their


new cars though….but then for retailers we take a different view. A new Range Rover parked at MODA can either say ‘We are doing really well, albeit we are pleading poverty’, or it can say ‘This is on the ‘never never’, we don’t pay our bills on time but enjoying it whilst it lasts..yahboosucks’. Am I cynical? Perhaps, but prefer honest.


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