• Relationships are impacted and


impaired. Tensions with a partner and other family members emerge. When shopping addiction is realized by those close to the addict, there is frustration, anger, and emotional distancing. There are arguments about the buying and spending.


• Loss of control. The individual is no longer in control of their shopping. Rather, the shopping is in control of them as they overspend and overbuy.


Realize the Consequences April Benson, author of I Shop, There- fore I Am: Compulsive Buying and the Search for Self, has witnessed how destructive compulsive shopping can be:


One patient of mine got fired because she was compulsively shopping on the Internet all day. There are other people who neglect their children and park them in the mall constantly because that is what they need to feed their habits. Lots of marriages break up over compulsive buying. In fact, we don’t call it compulsive buying unless there is some significant impairment in some aspect of your life.


Seek Help


When you recognize that your shopping is out of control, seek profes- sional help. Some sources of aid include a psychologist, financial counselor, or spiritual leader. Consider joining a self-help group such as Debtors Anonymous


(www.debtorsanonymous.org) or Over- spenders Anonymous (www.spenders.org). “There are no standard treatments for shopping addiction,” says Donald Black, MD, professor of psychiatry at the University of Iowa College of Medicine. “With some patients, I tell them they should have a self-proposed ban on shop- ping, and with others, some of my very worst cases, I tell them they should have someone else controlling their finances for them.”


Stop and Think


Though she earns $100,000 a year, Ginger found herself with a staggering $230,000 debt spent on items such as 13 fur coats, 400 pairs of shoes, and Louis Vuitton bags which she gave to her children to carry to private school. Complicat- ing her life, Ginger didn’t pay her bills and declared


she recalls. Last year she maxed out an $8,000 credit card in one week, buying shoes, jewelry, and clothing for herself along with a few gifts for others. Part of her purchases included designer jeans for which she paid $200 to $400 each. “It was disgusting to look at my closet,” says the unemployed mother of three. Finally, her husband took control of their finances, checking their bank account often. Nikki also entered a debt-management program and began seeing a counselor.


Deadly Sins


bankruptcy three times before her debt reached its current level.


“I love to look good, but this is hor- rible,” she says of her life.


When her urge to shop emerged, what might have stopped or slowed it down would be this: taking a deep breath, paus- ing, and stopping to think about ways to short-circuit a spending spree. Some helpful ways to stop and think before shopping include:


• Deciding to pay for purchases strictly by cash, check, or debit card


• Making a shopping list and buying only what’s on the list


• Getting rid of all credit cards • Window shopping only after the stores are closed


television shopping


• Not watching shopping channels on • Engaging in exercise rather than


Allow Someone Else to Handle Your Money


Consider Nikki, whose online shop- ping became an addiction. “It was like Christmas when the packages came,”


Practice Mindful Shopping A large part of the problem with shopping addicts is “spur-of-the- moment, impulsive, recreational, mindless shopping,” notes psycholo- gist April Lane Bensen. “We typically put about as much conscious thought into it as we do into digest- ing.” She recommends


offsetting careless shopping sprees by practicing mindful shopping. To do this effectively, Dr. Benson suggests finding a place to sit before you shop and taking time to ask yourself and answer, preferably in writing, these six key questions: Why am I here? How do I feel? Do I need this? What if I wait? How will I pay for it? Where will I put it?


Break the Addiction by Turning to God


If you feel your condition is hopeless, turn to God. When the Israelites were liv- ing as slaves in Babylon, God sent them this message: “I know the plans I have for you . . . plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. . . . Come and pray to me, and I will listen to you” (Jer. 29:11-12 NIV). Do what this passage urges—call on God. Just as He brought His people out of Babylonian bondage, He can set you free from slavery to greed.


Victor M. Parachin is an ordained minister and writer living in Tulsa, Oklahoma.


EVANGEL | October 2010 17


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