...write an unbinnable CVHow to

“UNSUCCESSFUL APPLICANTS WILL NOT BE

NOTIFIED.” “Previous applicants need not apply.” It’s soul-destroying if you fail to get even a sliver of feedback, let alone the job—but it’s the norm. “Online applications run into hundreds and employers just can’t cope,” says Angela Baron of the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development. “To make it into the ‘yes’ pile, you need to stand out from the crowd.” Here’s how to do it without using green ink. • Keep it short—one side of A4 if you’re starting out, two if you’re senior.

• Don’t ping off the same CV

to every vacancy. Tailor it to each one, showing how you can make a

difference in that job.

• Hit them with a marketing

statement right at the top, outlining what makes you the perfect candidate.

• Follow with a brief summary of your education. Don’t assume

an employer will read on to page two to find out that you’re qualified.

• Highlight your most relevant

experience but avoid leaving gaps in your work history—or giving a laboured explanation for them. “You can cover a career break in a line,” says Baron.

• If you’re currently unemployed, list every

course, committee or voluntary job you’ve taken on. “Managing budgets” is especially popular. • Your contact details should be easy to find but your age and family are irrelevant. And once you’re past filling in a UCAS form, so are your hobbies. • Sell yourself without giving the impression you have qualifications or experience you don’t possess. “Attended X University” is fine if you dropped out. “Degree, X University” could get you fired. And then you’d have to start all over again.

What your flight attendant won’t tell you

> I can refuse to let you

board. If you’re funny about showing me your boarding card or I’m suspicious about you, I can have you thrown off the flight without explaining why.

> The emergency exit seats are the coldest.

They’re by the door! And the video screen and tray are stored in the armrest, so the seats are effectively narrower. If you decide it’s worth it for the extra leg room—and the higher-price airlines often charge—take socks and a wool sweater to supplement the synthetic blanket I’ll offer you.

> Don’t laugh at the safety announcement.

Knowing the drill makes a difference in an emergency —and, yes, you do need to know that the life jacket is under your seat. Many airports are near water, so you may end up in it. And please don’t tut when

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