answer questions and evoke more questions yet to be an- The effects, too, are ongoing. “Through this process of
swered, and on and on it goes.” belief-based decorating,” adds Katillac, “nothing seems be-
yond transformation—negative thoughts, financial trouble,
Finished ... for Now loneliness—nothing.”
When our home project is finished we’ll know, because
the space contributes to our well-being, says Butler. “You’ll Judith Fertig is a freelance writer in Overland Park, KS.
feel nurtured, nested, and protected. You’ll feel at home.” Connect at JFertig299@aol.com.
“Feeling at home is a way of life, an inspiring journey
of discovery as well as a bridge that leads us to great ap- For more information and inspiration, contact Jill Butler at
preciation, reverence and beauty,” concludes Stoddard. A JillButler.com; Kelee Katillac at KeleeKatillac.com and Katil-
home that feels like home is a place “where we’ve trans- lacShack.com; Clare Cooper Marcus at Clare@MyGarden.
formed our spirit because we’ve learned how to follow our com; Thomas Moore at CareOfTheSoul.net; and Alexandra
own heart.” Stoddard at AlexandraStoddard.com.
Seven Avenues of Self-Discovery
T
aking stock of what’s impor- ger really need signals “not wanting to let
tant to us comprises two parts. go or move on from a stage in your life,”
First, we survey our beliefs and says Marcus, whether that stage is child-
values. Then, we consider how our rearing, professional life or a relationship
homes reflect, or don’t reflect, those that has changed or ended. When we
key beliefs and values. The following prune away things that are no longer nec-
toolbox can help spark progress. essary to us, saying yes only to what we
need, love and absolutely can’t live with-
Make Lists. Alexandra Stoddard has out, we can better see the path ahead. We
her clients simply list 10 words that can sell, recycle, donate or throw away
define who they are now. The list things that no longer serve. Creating order
might include words like “love,” makes us feel more peaceful, confident
“green,” “food” or “memories.” The and ready for creative action.
next step is going from room to room
and seeing how well each space mir- Ask Questions. Butler recommends ask-
rors these values. ing the “W” questions. Where are you
Jill Butler also recommends listing
“Having figured out the
now? What do you want? What do you see
all of the activities we see happening in
‘What,’ the ‘How’ will
around you? “Ask yourself what pleases you
our reinvented home. It helps evolve the and makes you feel good,” she says. Maybe
types of spaces needed and suggests in- take care of itself.” it’s a cozy color, a fresh breeze through the
novative uses for rooms. window or family photographs. Are these
~ Jill Butler
elements present now?
Draw a Picture. Clare Cooper Marcus
has given her clients a large pad of paper, crayons and felt Embrace Opposites. Katillac asks couples questions like,
pens and asked them to detail their feelings about home “What do you want more of in your life?” She finds the
in a picture. In creating a concept of home that they could commonality in their answers, but also celebrates the
see, the clients were better able to make those changes opposites—what each person wants without considering
happen in their homes. the other person at all. For example, one might prefer Zen-
like, serene surroundings, while the other loves the rustic
Take a Field Trip. Kelee Katillac suggests taking a “field outdoors, but they both want to feel family-friendly and ca-
trip” in our own home. “Walk through your house now sual. So, a “Zen cabin” could become a translation of their
and look for things that exemplify something of your be- mutual desires. “I love the juxtaposition of two different
liefs and values,” she advises. “List objects and areas that ideas,” says Katillac. “It’s all about helping people create a
have special meaning to you. This meaning may be known home that reflects who they are and who they want to be.”
only to you—more of an association. You may also see
many things there that have no meaning to you; it’s time to Pause. Wait for emotions to settle. Don’t be in a hurry to
let those go.” decide this, that, or all of it. Let decisions sit on the to-do
list, undecided, for a while. Watch as the choices become
Clear Out Clutter. The accumulation of things we no lon- clear naturally, organically, quietly.
28 Phoenix
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