Coming
Home to
Yourself
When Your
Home Expresses
Who You Are
by Judith Fertig
Illustrations by Jill Butler
H
ome. It’s a small word for a univer-
A house becomes
“Creating a soul space, or a nest, is not
sal idea, one that resonates deeply
a new idea for most women,” says Butler.
with complex individual meanings
a home only as “What might be new is creating the nest that
and associations.
we put our own
supports you and makes you feel loved and
Regardless of whether home is a
nurtured when your world might not. Taking
room, apartment, cottage or mansion, how personal, emotional
the time to understand the deeper need is the
homey it seems depends first on two physi-
first step.”
cal factors: light coming in on two sides
imprint on it.
and a view of greenery or sky, according to
How a House Becomes a Home
Clare Cooper Marcus, professor emerita of the departments “A house is more than a roof over your head,” says But-
of architecture and landscape architecture and environmen- ler, noting that it is far more than what it came to be seen as
tal planning at the University of California, Berkeley. “We in recent years as Americans’ primary savings account. “The
yearn for nature,” she observes. “Houseplants or a view of a whole idea of a house became skewed when we worried
garden is a universal desire.” more about resale value than actually living there,” she con-
In her seminal book, House as a Mirror of Self: Explor- tinues. “It’s time to consider their return on our emotional
ing the Deeper Meaning of Home, which resulted from her investment.”
work on a low-income housing project and a series of case A house becomes a home only as we put our own per-
studies, Marcus came to understand that “People con- sonal, emotional imprint on it. “A home is people-made,”
sciously and unconsciously use their home environment writes Alexandra Stoddard, author of Feeling at Home:
to express something about themselves.” For Marcus, our Defining Who You Are and How You Want to Live. “Our
evolving self-image is directly reflected in the homes we home is our essence, the ultimate Earthly place where we
create, like a chambered nautilus, around our deepest self. live and love and have our being.
Sometimes, we discover that we have outgrown the “All the more reason to ask ourselves: Are we living
shell in which we currently live, and a change is in order, with harmony, fulfillment, and joy at home? Are we living
remarks Jill Butler, an illustrator, creativity coach and author as well as we would like, or are we too often anxious,
of Create the Space You Deserve: An Artistic Journey to emotionally exhausted and stressed?”
Expressing Yourself Through Your Home. This could be the Interior designer Kelee Katillac, author of House of
result of a shift, as the result of downsizing to a smaller Belief: Creating Your Own Personal Style, suggests we start
home or again becoming a single adult; a celebration of by taking a close look at what we see around us in our
finally being able to build a home or move to the place of home. “Homes that say nothing of who we are—what we
our dreams; or a milestone, which might come in the form believe in and values that we aspire toward—are places of
of a first apartment or new baby. tumultuous spiritual discontent,” she counsels. “By fill-
26 Phoenix
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