6 — Good News, etc. — February 2012 nc/sd family “The whole family was filled with joy,


because they had come to believe in God.” – Acts 16:34


Visit the Creation & Earth History Museum


www.creationsd.org • 619-599-1104 Located in Santee • Open M-Sat., 9-4


MARRIAGE CONFIDENTIAL: Couples share insights about a healthy marriage


With February comes Valentine’s Day, and Good News, etc. asked three seasoned couples to share their insights about love and marriage — as advice to other couples. We thank them for their willingness to be open.


Should a Christian marriage be any different from a marriage between non-Christians?


Mitchell: Yes, God should be the foundation and focus


of the marriage. Each person within the marriage has a responsibility and obligation to display Christ-like char- acteristics toward each other. Theola: Absolutely, only in the regard that, with Jesus


as part of the marriage equation, there should be an obvi- ous sense of His presence as the couple journeys together. There should be the evidence (some would say there’s something different about them) of true joy in the good times and even if there is some turbulence in the marriage there should be a sense of hope as the married couple deals with the issues in their lives when they occur.


Joe: Yes, because I feel we have to seek godly wisdom and apply it to our marriages. Marlene: Yes, a marriage that is based on the Scriptures


should look much different from one that is not. However, just having a Christian marriage is not enough. A marriage centered on God is much stronger than one that is not.


John: Sure it should be different! The Lord should be the center. Ephesians 5 is a good foundation. Sandy: Yes, I love my husband and I am accountable to God my Father in all my actions towards my husband.


Describe your marriage now:


Mitchell: Exciting, loving and adventurous. Theola: Wonderfully refreshing and physically and spiritually fulfilling.


Joe: A loving and serving one. Marlene: God-centered, with truth, caring, love, obedi- ence, and perservance.


John: Happy and blessed! Sandy: Full of love and joy. My life overflows, I am


truly blessed.


Do you have an example of how trusting in God has worked in your marriage? Mitchell: In 2006, I was forced to retire from my place


of employment. We lost about $66,000 in income with one daughter in her second year of college and another daughter attending college the next year. We trusted in God and He provided a job in September 2008, working at Bethel Seminary as administrative assistant to the dean. Both daughters graduated from their universities of choice. Theola: We both had to trust God like never before when


we had both his mother and my mother living with us and they were not the best of friends. To put it plainly, they did not get along well. God truly kept us sane, because we had to trust He would help us make it through.


Joe: I have to trust God every day to help give me vic- tory over pride and selfishness. Marlene: God totally changed my heart when I did not


want to be married to Joe any longer, even though I had seen the change God had done in Joe.


John: Trusting in God as we had children, that He would


provide for our family. Sandy: Listening to God daily. Last Saturday morning


I spent time with the Lord even though I had a lot to do. I had to do some errands for my mom and my husband likes to spend Saturdays preparing for ministry. The Lord said to spend time with Him until my husband got up. The Lord said to do what my husband planned, even though I was worried about the errands, I let go. My husband got up and we had conversation and coffee on our front porch. It was a lovely morning! Then he said, “Lets do those errands for your mom.” We then came back, we prepared for ministry, and we had a great day.


How would you describe those beginning years of your marriage?


Mitchell: Exciting, loving, adventurous. Theola: The beginning of our marriage was really re-


warding and so very, very fun. We had a really good start – maybe because he worked nights and I worked days!


ful.


Joe: I was selfish, self-centered, controlling and pride- Marlene: A dream — or should I say a fairy tale. The


dream quickly became a nightmare with no way out in sight.


John: Beginning to know each other and learning to walk with the Lord. Encouraging each other. Sandy: Exciting, a new adventure, learning to know each other and discovering God in our relationship.


Is it what you envisioned when you were engaged?


Mitchell: Yes, because we shared about our past and what we expected in our marriage. Theola: I never envisioned what our marriage would


be like. I just knew I wanted to marry him and I was good to go.


Joe: No because I had a worldly selfish attitude about how to treat my wife. Marlene: We were never engaged. I ran away from home to be with Joe.


John: It is more glorious than I envisioned. Sandy: It is much better and more than I envisioned.


Please describe a “rocky” period in your marriage: Mitchell: When my mother came to live with us after


we were married three years. My mother did not like my wife. She lived with us for the next 21 years. Theola: I agree with Mitchell. He loved his mother so


much and I, well, let’s say she was not one of my favorite people.


Joe: Being in bondage to my struggle with sexual sin. Marlene: Lots of rocky situations. But around seven


years of marriage I found out for the first time about infi- delity. There was a lot of craziness for the next 16 years.


Mitchell Campbell, 62, and Theola Campbell, 57, will celebrate their 30th anniversary in October. They have a son and three daughters. They live in Poway and both are employed by Bethel Seminary, San Diego. Mitchell is administrative assistant to the dean and Theola is director of admission. They are also pastors of Release Worship Center.


Mitchell and Theola (left) met at Amtrak in Chicago. He worked for Amtrak and she


for a locomotive manufacturer. They were assigned to ride a test train from Chicago to Detroit. “We went on a date and we have been together ever since.”


Joe Gallegos, 54, and Marlene Gallegos, 46, have been married 30 years and


live in Vista. They have a son and three daughters. The couple has a grading and excavation business and also does farming. They attend North Coast Church in Vista, where they are involved on the junior high and high school event staff. Joe also directs a men’s accountability group and Marlene directs a women’s support group.


Joe and Marlene (right) lived down the street from each other. They became involved


and after time Marlene ran away to be with Joe. They married when Marlene was young.


John Clauder, 72, and Sandy Clauder, 66, have been married for 43 years.


They have five sons and four daughters. They live in Vista and work as evan- gelists. John is also a music minister and Sandy is a student superviser. They work for Harvest International Ministry and Rebuild My Church Ministries, and are involved at Redeemer by the Sea, Seaside Presbyterian, Moonlight Beach Drum Circle, Mesa College, and other outreaches.


John and Sandy (left) met at Denny’s on Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood. They


were introduced by a mutual friend and dated a few times before parting ways. “We ran into each other one day and our eyes met, and that was it!


How did you get through it? Mitchell: My wife and I prayed to God about it. We


talked to each other about the situation. We presented a united front to my mother letting her know that if it came to making a choice it was my wife over her. Theola: I had to learn to structure our relationship into


a professional mode because she was not about to allow me into that daughter kind of place and that was the only way I made it through. And I relinquished all dealings with her to Mitchell.


Joe: Seeking and finding a Christian based sexual ad- diction recovery group was the first step. Marlene: For many years I did the co-dependant crazy making. Eventually, I found North Coast Church and a Dad. It was no longer just a religion but a Dad that loved me and wanted the best for me and taught me that I am worth it and can count on Him. He strengthened me to the point that I knew I would be OK to leave. Then He worked on Joe and wow, what a work He did there. Then He changed my heart to be able to not only to stay in the marriage but love in a way I could not have imagined. God is amazing.


Was there a time you thought maybe the marriage wouldn’t survive?


Mitchell: No. Theola: Never!


Joe: Yes, when I had to choose whether or not to give up the sexual sin that had enslaved me for so long. Marlene: For all those 16 years, I went from wanting


it not to survive, to desperately trying to make Joe be the man he should be. I went from wanting to kill him to wanting to be the best wife and lover I could be so he would not want anyone else.


John: There have been moments. We have God to keep us going strong in our relationship. Sandy: I agree with my husband. There have been mo-


ments, but I like Ruth Graham’s comment, “I have never thought of divorce — murder, yes.”


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