MURPHY’S LAW
There’s ANew Tiger In Town O
BY BRIAN MURPHY
ur New Year’s gift to you is the return of Tiger Woods, portrayed shirtless and his head coated with wraparound shades, a goatee dyed frosty
white, a white wig and a Raider-black Santa cap. True story: Tiger tweeted a photo shortly before
Christmas saying his kids love it when he assumes an identity called “Mac Daddy Santa”. It was heartening to see Tiger have fun with his kids, yet unsettling to see his nipples in a Christmas-themed environment. Bottom line is: Tiger’s back! When you write the words “Tiger’s back”, you can almost see the greatest golf champion of our lifetime wince. After all, the Striped One is coming off two microdiscectomy surgeries in the past two years. Break- ing news: back surgeries are not good for golf swings. Regardless, Tiger will peg it in 2017. History of
injuries and advancing age be damned. The Sunday “red” is returning to our golf lives for
the first time since August 2015, when he finished T-10th at the Wyndham, then went straight to a back surgeon. It’s understandable if your Tiger IQ has grown a tad rusty. Let’s take care of that with a Tiger Woods 2017 Fact Check Q-and-A. You’ll be able to impress your friends with your knowledge of Tiger 2.0. Wait, Tiger 3.0. Or, shoot, after all he’s been through, it’s about Tiger 7.0. Q: How would you sum up Tiger’s life since
Thanksgiving Weekend, 2009? A: In one word? How about: SmashedEscalade/Haney-
Out/FoleyIn/StevieOut/FiveWinsin2013/BriefReturnTo NumberOne/MastersDropControversy/FoleyOut/No Majors/TwoBackSurgeries/ThreeStraightMissed CutsAtMajors/NoGolfSince2015/GolfWorldHasMoved OnWithoutHim. Q: How old is Tiger, anyway? A: He’s 41 years old. Q: 41?? Dude, that’s OLD! A: It is, especially when you conjure up the memory of the flexible dominator who won the 1997 Masters at age 21. But judging by the shirtless pecs we saw in the “Mac Daddy Santa” tweet, Tiger hasn’t let age stop him from going to the gym. Q: Can a 41 year old win a major? A: Holy 1986 Masters, Batman. Your goose bumps still
haven’t gone down from 46-year-old Jack Nicklaus’ Masters win, have they? Not to mention, Darren Clarke won the 2011 British Open at age 42, and Tiger’s old pal Phil Mick-
104 WINTER 2017 |
WWW.NCGA.ORG
elson winning the 2013 British Open at 43. So, yeah. Q: When’s the last time Tiger won a major? A: I don’t want to say that the 2008 U.S. Open at Torrey
Pines was a long time ago, but George W. Bush was still president and it was two years from the dawn of Instagram. Q: Speaking of George W. Bush, has Tiger
played golf with President Donald Trump? A: Matter of fact they did play, in Florida on Dec. 23,
2016. Tiger must have done well, because Trump did not tweet anything like: “Played with Tiger today. He bladed several chip shots. Sad!” So, that’s a positive. Q: Didn’t Tiger play late in 2016? A: Yes, at his charitable event called the Hero World
Challenge, in the Bahamas. Everyone got very excited with his second-round 65 but many saw more in that score than in the slew of double bogeys resulting in his first round 73 and closing 76. Irishman Paul McGinley highlighted the hype, saying the results didn’t match the wows. You can bet Tiger now has McGinley on his MBD (“Must Be Destroyed”) list. Of course, at 41 years old and with two back surgeries Tiger’s MBD capabilities aren’t what they once were, when he crushed foes like a Bond villain. Q: With Nike out of the golf equipment indus-
try, what will Tiger have in his bag? A: As soon as Nike made their surprise announcement,
Tiger sprinted back to his Titleist Scotty Cameron blade, the one he won 13 of his 14 majors with. He used a TaylorMade driver at the Hero, and played a Bridgestone golf ball. But the putter is the focus. King Arthur has his Excalibur back. Q: What are Tiger’s realistic chances of con-
tending at the 2017 Masters? A: Tiger will always contend at Augusta. His whole life,
his whole game and his whole mindset have been geared to compete at the Masters. Even in the depths of his post-Elin shame, when he nearly showed up with a fake nose and glasses on Magnolia Lane in 2010, he finished flippin’ fourth! Q: You’re saying he'll win another Masters? A: Believe it or not, I am. Q: What’s Tiger’s world ranking, anyway? A: Uh . . . . would you believe 321st at the close of 2016? Q: 321st in the world? A: Nowhere to go but up, baby!
Brian Murphyhosts the KNBR morning show “Murph and Mac” and was the San Francisco Chronicle’s golf writer from 2001–2004.
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60 |
Page 61 |
Page 62 |
Page 63 |
Page 64 |
Page 65 |
Page 66 |
Page 67 |
Page 68 |
Page 69 |
Page 70 |
Page 71 |
Page 72 |
Page 73 |
Page 74 |
Page 75 |
Page 76 |
Page 77 |
Page 78 |
Page 79 |
Page 80 |
Page 81 |
Page 82 |
Page 83 |
Page 84 |
Page 85 |
Page 86 |
Page 87 |
Page 88 |
Page 89 |
Page 90 |
Page 91 |
Page 92 |
Page 93 |
Page 94 |
Page 95 |
Page 96 |
Page 97 |
Page 98 |
Page 99 |
Page 100 |
Page 101 |
Page 102 |
Page 103 |
Page 104 |
Page 105 |
Page 106 |
Page 107 |
Page 108
