In Focus Risk
Some problems over divorce: Brexit included
Personal and political separations may have a great deal in common, and may be just as damaging
Arthur Kaufman Independent writer and speaker
arthur35art@hotmail.co.uk
When practising as a clinical psychologist, I prepared reports and gave evidence in court in disputes over children where divorce proceedings were concerned. In looking back, it seems that these confrontations could be compared with what has occurred over Brexit.
Resentment and bitterness Before court proceedings took place, there was often considerable resentment and bitterness by each parent against the other, especially if there were serious difficulties during the marriage itself. In addition to wrangling over financial matters, such as maintenance, outstanding debts, or capital assets including the matrimonial home, there could be considerable acrimony over which parent a child (or children) should reside with. This often involved how much, and just
when – if at all – contact between a child and its non-residential parent should take place. Unfortunately, there could, by one parent or the other (or both), be unreasonable and ever-changing last-minute arrangements, avoidable delays and communication failures, all of which would inevitably rebound on the children, resulting in their feeling disappointed and anxious over contact itself. In such respects, this is not dissimilar in meetings and negotiations over Brexit. Between the UK and EU, it now seems
that whatever proposal is regarded by both ultra-passionate pro and anti-Brexiteers as simply another version of a previously unacceptable one, this can exacerbate the antagonism which already exists – as happens with parents who, in the throes of divorce,
40 There are, of course, still worries, by
Between the UK and EU, it now seems that whatever proposal is regarded by both ultra-passionate pro and anti-Brexiteers as simply another version of a previously unacceptable one, this can exacerbate the antagonism that already exists – as happens with parents who, in the throes of divorce, each insist on their right to determine what is in the best interests of the child they have mutually produced
each insist on their right to determine what is in the best interests of the child they have mutually produced. There is also (post-Brexit) the problem
of thousands of EU binding rules and regulations requiring cancellation or modification by the UK in order to re-establish what it regards as its sovereign rights. However, readjustment following an acrimonious breakdown in any long-term relationship, whether personal or formal, is not an easy process, even when conducted by MPs, including members of the Cabinet and their shadow colleagues, especially amongst those with diametrically opposed views on the EU itself.
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citizens living in an EU country where they lack citizenship, just how long they will be allowed to stay, despite reassurances which are not fully clear-cut yet. The resulting anxiety is not unlike to that
felt by children of divorcing parents, when each is trying to gain advantage over the other, with their offspring having little or no say over decisions which affect them directly and leaving them wondering what will be happening next.
Criticism Worse still, the children may be subjected to rather unfavourable and unjustified criticisms by one parent against the other, which could be said to mirror some of the tactics employed in EU and UK meetings over Brexit, where both sides claim to be the most reasonable while attributing virtually all fault and intransigence to their opposite number. In addition to the EU's and the UK’s
unresolved differences over Brexit, the ongoing rancour within UK leavers and remainers is far from receding. Instead, it appears to be accelerating as 29 March 2019 continues its inevitable approach. Given that the split in the UK for and
against EU membership has been ongoing since June 2016 (as well as during the run up to the referendum vote), it seems unlikely that, following Brexit negotiations, the arguments between leavers and remainers, will quickly subside, since neither side is likely to be happy with the text of what is not actually a ‘final’ agreement, while proclaiming how much better it would
December 2018
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