AN INDEPENDENT REMEMBERS
“GOOD BUYING, ATTRACTIVE PRESENTATION AND AT THE RIGHT TIME”
Fond Christmas memories, a hate/hate relationship with Woolworths, and wrapping up DIY with a bow for the festive season – our independent hardware retailer takes a step back in time with part 19 of his stories from the shop floor.
“Winter is coming…” so say the characters in the TV series Game of Thrones. Of course, back in the 80s all town centre visitors were well aware of the impending demise of the current year, and it was all thanks to Woolworths. Their “Back to School” campaign had been running since June, when the kids were still at school, and they fished out the Christmas trees whilst people were still taking their summer holidays. Then they began thrusting towards mass takings from chocolate, electricals, records (no CDs yet) and any other sales they could snatch from independent retailers. I didn’t take kindly to a high street giant wishing my life away. Those doors were like a voracious vacuum cleaner and we were powerless to stop the public from being sucked in. Occasionally, some of them would come to us for advice, then go to Woolworths to buy the materials – I know because, on a couple occasions, I followed them. Incensed? I would have registered on the Richter scale.
Stoking up for winter
Every morning it was my job to light the shop’s Belkin paraffin heater and derive some comfort from its cosy, if small-town, warmth. I can smell it now, the neck-end of 40 years later. This was one of the relics of a fast-disappearing bygone era that would end up in a skip once we expanded the sales area.
20 DIY WEEK 15 DECEMBER 2017
Another victim would be the pot- bellied wood burning stove that lived in the office. I have no idea when the boss acquired this beast; I doubt it was new, as he picked up many items of equipment and tools from auctions when, in 1947, money was scarce and everyone was trying to settle to normality in peacetime Britain. For the past five years, any technological advancements had been funnelled towards the war effort, so cars and furniture - and just about anything else you could buy in the late-40s - were around 10 years behind the times.
He’d moved it to the shop when, in 1957, he took advice from a couple of people who told him that there would be a DIY boom. And, of course, their predictions were correct, though it didn’t happen overnight. In fact, the city of Rome was built far quicker – or maybe I’m confusing facts with legend. Oh, don’t mind me.
So yeah, I miss the old Romesse wood-burner, with its ash flap bearing the name of its manufacturer in Bonnybridge, Scotland – which just happens to be the UFO capital of the world. Not a lot of people know that. Anyhow, this thing was easy to light and I can’t think of how many tons of timber offcuts (and old Yellow Pages phone books) it consumed in just the few years that I knew it. I remember quiet winter afternoons, before the tea-time rush
of factory and mill workers poured in on their way home. The boss and I would be ensconced in the office, the stove blazing and roaring (I can hear its whoosh! right now), and the sense of comfort and – dare I say? – security, and the feeling that, whatever the government threw at us, we were somehow in control of our own destinies. Despite the business being nano-sized, there was a sense of contented well-being. Little did I realise that, once we expanded, this would disappear forever.
Driving forward
December 1981 and I was stuck as to how we could improve on the previous year’s Christmas sales. The answer came from 1972, when the boss, well-ahead of his time, had taken on a counter display of Pozidriv screws (whose patent was already 10 years old). Now, the public couldn’t tell the difference between these and the bog-standard star-headed Philips, a problem exacerbated by manufacturers – including Stanley, would you believe? – continuing to flog low-cost cross-point screwdrivers that were guaranteed to chew up Pozidriv heads and turn people back to the old, tried and tested (and, frankly, not very good) slotted screws. Like sticks in the mud, people conveniently forgot the tendency for the heads to cam-out and strip once the required torque to turn the screw had gone too far.
Anyhow, in this part of the country, with heads in the sand and bottoms in the air (waiting to be kicked), Pozidriv screws were a bit too space-age for some and our main wholesaler had a load of unsold presentation boxes containing the proper driver with a selection of screws. Some bright person (and I mean this most sincerely) came up with the idea of having some sleeves printed with a picture of a gift bow and the words Happy Christmas. Okay, so by modern standards this may seem a bit underwhelming, but back in 1981 it was on top of the game. So when I plonked a load of these in the window, they sold out at supersonic speed and I lost count of the times we re-stocked. We cleared most of Bird & Sons’ inventory. We’re not talking large-ticket sales here, I’ll give you that, but we made at least 50% on cost and shifted dozens of the little plastic boxes: an instance of good buying, attractive presentation and at the right time. The bonus was that it also paved the way for future sales of these ingeniously-designed screws that have since evolved into the Supadriv range, now with the added benefit of allowing penetration from an offset angle, which is good for when screwing in an unusual position, something I’m sure has frustrated us all. I’ll say no more and wish you the compliments of the season.
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